A Story of Her – 4 Years of High School Experience

30 Jul

Chapter 1 – Grade 9

PART 1 – An Introduction to Her

As she walked into the room awfully late as I, for reasons uknown, I knew something was about begin with that welcoming smile of hers. She proceeded to ask me if she could sit next to me as my seat was empty; located at the second furthest row from the back and third row from the left of the room. Of course I responded with a yes – and that is how I met her. I later figured out that she was also in my English class the next day as my school functions on a day 1 and 2 basis. She decided to also sit beside me during English. She found out my locker was in ‘1st hall’ (a hall downstairs), and she questioned as if she could share it with me. I didn’t mind so I let her share it with me. As I look back it now, this was probably what triggered everything. Anyways, I always came to school attending to my class near my locker only to see a crowd of her friends around it. I awkwardly pass through getting my books, bidding farewell as I walk into class with the mission impossible theme song in the background (song was always played before class starts to make you know there was a minute left before class starts).

As my 9’er year fast forwards, we evidently got closer together along with my friend Teddy. Teddy is my friend and eventually bestfriend during my 9’er year. She spent her lunches with her friends in the cold cafe meanwhile I spent mines in the hot cafe with my friends. She eventually came across the nickname phase and she thought she had such a creative one, Dee. We chilled after school doing various things as the three musketeers we were. I remember vividly this one time we were eating lunch as a three,her, Teddy and I, and I was a little nervous eating with her that I subconsciously started pulling my socks up. She baked often and I ate her sweets often. She really was one of a kind. Her personality, the outgoing ambitious attitude she always presented was never defied. Always talking to everybody, just being friendly, but obviously you would have various thoughts if you were crushing on her right?

Anyways, it became obvious I liked her and everyone around knew it by… I don’t know… say after January at the earliest? I enjoyed my time with her, it passed by fast and happiness was always there. It didn’t matter what we did but I knew that whatever it was, we both enjoyed it just as much. She eventually got a boyfriend but I forget when this was but it wasn’t a big deal (they broke up afterwards, idk when but early I think). I was just fine being a really close friend, I really was. Being in a relationship at that time never really bothered me; just the time spent was enough for me. Although I can honestly say there was this one incident where it bugged me and I couldn’t forget. Teddy and her brought up this problem on who my bestfriend was. She insisted it was her but I never really commented as I liked her. Of course you would get the friend zone vibe from this, what foreshadowing haha. Of course as rumors went, the whole grade probably knew we liked another (after sometime she broken it off with the guy). Skipping all the days, weeks, and months, we finally get to May. May was a big month.

PART 2 – May

As May approached our bond grew, our friendship grew, our relationship grew. I remember going over to her house one day during May for reasons which I forget. I believe we did some homework. As the sky darkened and time told it was late, she did something. Something that would forever change our relationship. I guess you can say we started to get intimate? She started this thing where she kisses my nose and I would return it by kissing her on the forehead (this was probably sometime early May before this changing event). She escalated this and kissed around my lips, so upper/lower lip. Of course you would get the hint she wanted to kiss, and eventually after trading off…we did so. As the clock struck 9 or 10 or whatever, I had to leave as it was a school night. I proceeded to the room where you exit into the garage. It was a straight path and she followed. I told her to close to the door causing it to be pitch dark. We proceeded to hug, a sense of farewell you can say and before I left, I did it. I told her, ‘ The rumours are true, I actually do like you. Will you go out with me? ‘ I finally asked her out. It took a lot out of me; fearing rejection like any normal human being would, but, how could have I not after such a situation? She stood there silent for a moment as I anticipated her answer in fear. Her lips moved.

Basically she told me that we should be friends because she feared losing our friendship due to becoming a couple. Understandable. I accepted this and things didn’t go awkward or anything. Our new relationship continued until around July I suppose. We secretly held hands when we took the bus home, placing our hands under our backpacks, and secretly giving another a kiss on the cheek/lip. We were closer than ever before. We acted all coupley and such but not exactly at school. Well… everyone at school already assumed so or that we were on the verge of or knew we liked another. As the days passed, I was at her house again, not uncommon but yeah. The mood was correct, and it pained me, what we were doing, that I had to ask her again. She gave me the same answer but I really did try, really. I didn’t want to impose this or anything so I left things how it was. I liked it, I didn’t want this to change. I recall her giving me a charm bracelet, and I kept it. As summer school drew close, I didn’t see her for a week before it started.

I met her again on the first day of summer school. My friends and I were all meeting up again finding each others class. She found her friend from her old elementary school and was with her other friends from our current high school. I wore that charm bracelet she gave me to school that day carrying it on my wrist. She noticed but only briefly commented on it as she had to catch up with her friends. Sometime during the month I placed the bracelet in a drawer in my room, leaving it there. As summer school passed, we eventually got split up. I don’t recall why or what happened that made us fall apart but I do have a guess. We saw each other less and less each day, not even spending lunch with another as she chilled with her old friends and new ones she made in summer school. It got hard talking to her and I suppose this never really bothered her as she was always so busy, at least I perceived so. I suppose my importance in her life diminished and I decided that it was best to let life choose my path – destiny or whatever you want to call this. It eventually led us to barely talking, and then eventually never. Summer school ended and by this point, our ties, bond, friendship and relationship had been broken. I suffered greatly as I recalled. Teddy told me I was really depressed and what not, but this was 9er summer year. I don’t remember what I went through but it was a lot. I was experiencing family problems and I recall sleeping over at Teddy’s during my summer school days. He had an extra room in his basement and I was grateful. He gave me some blankets but his basement was really cold. As I waited for morning, I thought about it: my problem with her was basically adding salt onto my wounds at this time. The two of us bussed to school that morning and yeah. Not important but what is, is what will become the two of us when summer draws to an end and what will a new school year awaiting bring us?

Chapter 2 – Grade 10

Part 3 – The Departing and Departed

It’s now grade 10, a fresh new year and I’ve used August to get over her. We didn’t communicate after summer school. Vanished from my life. I don’t recall if I lived in a hut or something but I do remember playing a lot of maplestory, lol. Anyways, onwards with grade 10! I only had two classes with her, math and science. Teddy was also in my class and we sat next to another. She was sitting diagonally to the right of us, just by one row. I would look at her from time to time but ultimately realize what is in the past cannot be re- obtained so easily. I left it be, yes, destiny once more. We never once spoke in math but I believe neither of us really found it awkward as we just suddenly stopped all connections. We were in the same science class room that we met in, thee very same class room she walked in late into that let us to meet. However, this time it was different. I sat to the column second row closest to the right of the room, second closest row to the teacher’s bench meanwhile she sat on the third column closest to the right and first row. Haha, I do recall this one time where she awkwardly handed me my white sweater that I totally forgot about. The teacher was probably the most hated one in grade 10; giving detentions out after 3 lates. I always fell asleep in that class, her voice was really soothing lolol, just like a melody. Teddy found out he had to move to a different town that year. He eventually moved and left me alone in math. Yes, I had other friends and all like the ones who sat in front/behind me but he is my bestfriend. Teddy and I didn’t speak much to another online but we did every so often. He came to visit friends from the town he use to be in and when he did we hanged out. Each time we met another we basically started off where we left off from before. Nothing has really changed between him and I. Teddy still talked to her but I didn’t however. I don’t know what the situation was like but it didn’t bother me as she didn’t concern me anymore at this point. Its not like I’ve forgotten her, erasing memories of her and I but its just I would rather be in a situation where I’m not thinking about it. In the end, I lost two great friends, and of course I had others, but they didn’t scale up to Teddy and her. It was only early grade 10, what now?

Part 4 – Crush

I don’t know when it started but it doesn’t matter, I realized I ‘liked’ this girl (different girl than the one in Chapter 1). When I look at it now, I guess it was just infatuation, lol. She was in my business class and we didn’t sit next to another. Tables were arranged in the form of squares, four table each square. I was in the middle and she was diagonal to my right. I always moved spots each class to sit next to her as it was empty. The teacher always sent me back to my original seat but that didn’t stop me each day. She was really hard to talk to, honestly. Spending the whole school year getting to know her wasn’t exactly the easiest year. Always refusing to initiate a conversation, only speaking a word and just how shy she was… I don’t even know what made me like her but let’s just fast forward grade 10. Zoomzoomzoomzoom. It’s now May and I could say we’ve gotten closer but not to the point of dating. May was the month where we got closer together, with some help of our friends of course.

Part 5 – Summer 

It was May and that meant the amusement park was about to open! In the summer the amusement park is usually jam packed with long lines but during May, it is empty. Teddy and I and all of my crush’s friends got a summer’s pass to go to the park. On the first day, it was so empty and I do recall her ripping her jacket in the horrid weather. The strong wind on the most intimidating roller coaster at the park was fierce, piercing your very skin. Anyways our group went so often during May and the summer. They would always set her up trying to sit next to me but I didn’t have a preference. I usually sat with Teddy, I didn’t mind who I sat with, even alone. I guess as time passed and making use of our passes, we got to know another better and it was easier to talk. She usually made jokes and stuff because she was shy but let’s skip time.

Teddy and I had dinner with our crush’s one day at Boston Pizza I think. We dined outside and at this time the sky darkened around 7-8 as summer drew to an end. I hinted Teddy to go to the washroom during the dinner to tell him my plans but at first he didn’t get my hint. Lolol now that I look back at how we acted out of miscommunication. The walk home was a dark one on a cold night but we lived close, it wasn’t that bad. As we headed to the two roads diverged by a stop light, Teddy pulled a stunt on me. He took his crush and went on another path than I, as I was walking in front of him. The road I had taken was a community without lights, or very little actually. I scared her couple of times knowing how she’s a scaredy cat but as we approached her house, I ravelled all my courage within and proceeded with what I told Teddy. She stopped with her back facing my chest, my arms around her, she flinched and struggled, I asked her out.

Part 6 – Answer 

She stood there in silence. The streetlamp flickered, and the silence continued…awkward. I asked her if she needed some time to think and she instantly replied with a yes. I didn’t know why but it was probably cause of her shy personality. She walked onto her driveway and into her house. I stood there in amazement at what I’ve done. I wasn’t sure if this response was a good thing or what due to the awkward silence but what done was done. I darted off down her street as fast as I could through the cold night meeting up with Teddy and his crush along the way. He had told her what was done and we made our way to my house. I told Teddy what happened and he shortly returned to his city the next day as it was a school night.

We acted normally like nothing happened at school as if nothing changed. This continued for a week or so and I got a little worried. Was she too shy to give me an answer? Did I have to initiate the conversation like always and ask her again? Only she knew. One night after our trip to the amusement park, it was just the four of us again, the same four I mentioned at Boston Pizza. We were walking home as the buses weren’t scheduled to run so late. We walked Teddy’s crush home first and I told him I would wait for him here at the bus stop where it was safe with lighting with my crush. He agreed as he had some business with his crush as well. I forget how but I brought up the topic again with her. I suppose it was kind of awkward and such because of the atmosphere and her personality lolol. She gave me her answer: yes. I was so happy and we hugged in the bus stop shielding us from the cold. We sat there waiting for Teddy to come back, hugging from time to time. I even recall some guy stopping near us as it was a red light and he shouted something, probably wheels along with some chuckling. Time passed and I eventually strolled down the path with her to see Teddy and his crush sitting on the pavement talking to another. Woops! We just interrupted his important talk, haha. My girlfriend of just a few minutes and I waited a few houses away giving them privacy and eventually we walked home together. Teddy asked his crush out but things didn’t go too well for him, sadly. I was so sure they would be together but it seems like she led him on. I was grateful for his help and sorry at the same time for him.

Summer finally came. We started going to the amusement park with the whole group as a recognized couple amongst them. It wasn’t too awkward for them as we didn’t act too coupley but the summer of massive runs to the amusement park did bring us even closer together. Fast forwarding summer. We also spent time with just us two…dates…yup. She never took the initiative to ask or whatever and that was really bothersome. Even if you are shy it’s like hinting you don’t want to hang out, whatever. It didn’t bug me too much but I basically led the relationship with almost 0 help from her. What did bug me was how indecisive she was. Never picking something to do, never giving options or even deciding after I’ve given the options. Indecisive. It was still hard to talk to her but a lot easier than beginning of grade 10. Summer came to an end and school was about to start. We were about to become juniors.

Chapter 3 – Grade 11
Part 7 – Problems 

We were going strong through our junior year until probably until March. She had no friends during her lunch so I had to spend mines with her. Awfully boring I must say as she never talked. If she did it’d just be a sentence or two, no real conversation that can be carried out during a lunch break. My friends had this lunch too but I couldn’t sit with them due to her being alone, ehh. It got problematic during March and on wards. I started to sleep during our lunches because we did nothing and I was rather tired after staying up for a Maplestory server check to get some spots for selling chaos zakum helmets. I don’t think this bothered her too much but what else was I to do? Talking didn’t help, going out for lunch was out of the question… oh homework. Yeah, that was what she did while I slept. We had a joking relationship where I made fun of her, even before we started dating it was this. I stopped for awhile but it shortly returned. I continued this and I didn’t understand why she would be mad or whatever cause this is what we did in the past too. I also slept during lunch for this reason to avoid all this crap she gave me. She eventually started accusing me of checking out these girls who were my underclassman but I had no affiliation with them. I recall this one time we were walking down the hall and I turned around looking for her because I didn’t sense her presence. She happened to be behind me and she instantly used her hand and turned my head around. I asked why and I looked around. It was a coincidence that the girl she thinks I like or whatever was beside us when I looked around for her. I asked her why did she do that so vigorously as it was awfully out of her character. She told me it was because it was a joke. Joke my ass. It wasn’t even close to one. Of course I realized why she did it but I never told her that I knew. I don’t even know to this day if she knows that I knows. I tolerated everything she did, I didn’t care anymore. As I recall, we were at a dinner party for a friend and she was there. My girlfriend gave a cold attitude, bearing the presence of her and then eventually going to the washroom to cry. Stupid, and insecure. Whatever. All this fighting eventually led to the biggest day somewhere around April.

Part 8 – April and Anew 

April brought the biggest disaster to our relationship. I was sitting with my guy friends and she sat there too. I was on Caleb’s iPad surfing Facebook to show my friend Ryan a picture of Caleb’s crush. Caleb liked her a lot or so we thought because of his elementary school past with her. Anyways, I found the photo and showed Ryan and we laughed because of Caleb’s reaction when we showed him. Caleb asked for a dance with his crush in grade 8 but sadly got rejected because she was busy ‘eating’ lolol. Anyways, my girlfriend asked to see but I couldn’t show her as Caleb’s crush was her bestfriend. I couldn’t let her know under these circumstances so I refused to show her. I proceeded to use the iPad to go on my friend’s tumblr, Tiffany’s. I met her on Maplestory sometime around Decemeber when I came back from a break. She had some really funny posts that I wanted to show Ryan. I did so, several actually, and my girlfriend asked again if she could see it. I denied her request because it wasn’t something she would find appropriate, something along that line + Caleb doesn’t lend out his iPad to people he doesn’t know. She suddenly lunged over the table (she sat across from me, I was beside Ryan) and looked at the iPad. I was still on the tumblr at this point and I later realized she did that to copy the URL. She went on the tumblr herself via iTouch and proceeded to leave a hate message that went on the lines of something like ‘ you ruined my life. you’re so childish for playing Maplestory, grow up.’ Now I was quite offended: 1) She didn’t know Tiffany. 2) Has no right to say something like that to someone she doesn’t know. 3) How the flip she ruin your life if you don’t even know her? I was engulfed in rage knowing she did something so stupid. She ended up putting her head down crying with all my friends seeing. None of us really commented on it but it was my fault. I didn’t explicitly tell her off, just simply saying why on earth would you do something like that? It was probably because of her realization of her actions and the lack of a response for my question. While putting her head down she took my agenda and wrote all over it. Using a blue pen she wrote ‘flip you’ all over my agenda and ‘you don’t care about me’ with a bunch of scribbles everywhere which caused some holes. She asked me why didn’t I look at her tumblr in an upset tone? You had a tumblr? I told her I didn’t know about it, I really didn’t. She ended up going home after that period with her makeup ruined. Sometime after that event, that night came.

It got kind awkward after this incident which led to that night. This event added oil to the flame that was caused by me previously being all joking saying rude but sarcastic comments and herp derp. I don’t know but she really got bothered by me saying herpssssssderpssssssss loool. Anyways, the night I’m talking about. One night we were talking over MSN and she eventually brought up the topic of us not doing so well together. She said something about how it was harming the both of us and it wasn’t doing the both of us any good, she wanted to take a break. Okay. It didn’t hit me as hard as you would have thought, but it did hit me. I guess its because Tiffany was there and we talked a lot. Hell, she was a whole lot easier to talk to than her. It was a night of self realization that it was finally over, us. After 9 months of being together, it was finally over. The last 3 months weren’t really all that great but it was still a 9 month relationship. We promised to still talk to another even after this ‘break’, and we did until she made it awkward. She sent me her tumblr and sent ‘funny’ posts which did not match my humour. To my knowledge I had already seen all if not most on Tiffany’s tumblr so it wasn’t too bad. As I recall she messaged me AFTER we broke up about how guys only like big chests and why did her mother have to smite her with such…yeah. Not awkward at all. Eventually after two weeks or so she hypothetically asked me if I wanted to go out with her again. She hypothetically asked it in a way where she actually meant it. I told her.

I told her no I wouldn’t go out with her again. I was done. I didn’t want to be in a relationship with her again after all that crap and this ‘break’ were supposed to be help us cool down. Nothing changed, so why? She argued that it was supposed to be a break and we were technically going to be a couple again but I implied it as a total break off. I didn’t care anymore, I was done. My impression of her has forever changed, even to this date, after the incident with the iPad. Her shy personality was the total opposite that day, evil I may even put it. I will never look at her the same as I did before, I don’t even know why I liked her. Soon we slowly stopped talking, and then never. She spent her lunches with whoever, and I spent mines happily with my guy friends. Justine and I were over; she soon became like her.

Part 9 – Tiffany 

I met Tiffany on Maplestory like I told you guys before. It was around December that I came back to Maplestory playing on my chief bandit after hearing it got buffed. I met her at mysterious path 3 while training. I was always adding priests to my buddy list to use them for holy symbol, lolol critic away for doing this. I added her and we were training for a bit until this dual blade comes and ks’s my platform. I cursed him off and we KS’d him for awhile and he eventually left. That’s how I met her. Haha, she even told me she thought I was a little scary for the words I used to curse the dual blade off. We got along really well. Every day I would log on after school and hit up my buddy list to see if she was on. She was never on when I was after school as she was Pacific Time zoned and I was eastern. The three hour difference between us never stopped us from talking on Maplestory though. I just happened to see her a little later…like 4-5 o’clock when she finished school. Our friendship was the kind where we would curse at each other, tell jokes and make fun of another. And yes, at this time I was still dating Justine. We really clicked when you put it in terms of talking. Our conversations never died until I had to go sleep which was like 1-3am sometimes. She had to go around 11pm and that’s when I usually slept too. Yes, this happened meanwhile I was dating Justine but I didn’t have any feelings for Tiffany. She was just a really good friend that was entertaining to talk. Hear me out, I didn’t talk to many people because of Justine. She was really needy and clingy so I didn’t talk much to my guy friends or anyone at all actually during the time I dated her. I only talked to my Maplestory friends, mostly Tiffany though and my guild mates, NikeSB. I recall my guild being fantastic actually; we always trolled everyone, lively. My friendship with Tiffany grew as time passed and we exchanged e-mails knowing Maplestory communication wasn’t the most reliable. She had AIM and I had MSN. We made the opposite account and we usually took turns logging onto either to speak to another if Maplestory wasn’t there. She gave me a photo of herself one day, I forget how but I provoked it and I made fun of her for looking like a child although I knew she was a year older than me. Soon we even gave each other our facebooks soon and we knew how each other looked like. Hell, we even webcammed time to time after that. March was quickly approaching now and she told me she was going to go on vacation and possibly near my town/city/whatever. I was excited.

We planned it all out and decided we would meet at the Eaton’s Center as her brother wanted to visit Toronto. I woke up early that morning to take the bus all the way down to Finch station in order to subway down to Eaton’s. I’ve never done this before but I was confident enough in my transit abilities, I was the god at bussing around so why not subway too? I paid my fare of $2 dollars for the bus then another $2 dollars for the subway. We decided we would meet at the Sears. As I stood anxiously on the subway staring out the window into the darkness, I knew Tiffany and I would soon meet but it was just the matter of time. I arrived at Eaton’s center soon, only to realize I was early. I walked around for a bit and as I made my way up the escalator, I saw Tiffany and her brother about 10 meters away. We looked at another in a funny way but we recognized another. As I walked towards her, she couldn’t help but to smile and walk a little faster to give me a welcoming hug. She always talked about how she loved long hugs but it wasn’t this time as I pushed her away in awkwardness with her brother standing there. Haha, I wasn’t going to hug her for so long with her brother standing next to us. As our hug subsided she asked me why I took so long. I didn’t answer her properly…you know kind of avoiding her question. She thought I wasn’t going to show and was like ‘ wtfff where is heeeee?’ Her brother introduced himself with a handshake and I responded back. He had a camera around his neck, nifty. He said his name and such but I couldn’t hear any of it due to my iPod playing music but I nodded like I understood. Tiffany told me he said his name. Oh how much of an idiot I was for not telling him my name as well. Maybe that’s why Tiffany was like ‘Oh that’s -insert my name-‘ while I stood there in amazement that I’m actually meeting Tiffany. Her brother eventually led the way to one of those things that tell you the location of places. He told us he would meet us back within 1-2 hours at the same place we met. We agreed and we walked off to do whatever in that time span. We basically sat down at the McDonalds, not the food court one and this was way before urban eatery, so the one upstairs. I ordered a hash brown because I didn’t get breakfast but I couldn’t eat it due to a canker sore on my lower lips. We sat at the table right in front of the middle cashier talking about many many things that I seem to forget right now but it wasn’t awkward at all. It was like how we talked over skype and when we IMed. After that we basically walked around the mall looking at things while talking about the many things we easily related to. It was around 1pm-2pm when she had to go. She made her way to Sears and exited the mall. I looked at her run down the street not knowing if I should chase after her knowing that we haven’t properly said good bye yet. I ran after her a bit and she said that her parents were across the street. I didn’t want to give her parents the wrong idea, let alone get her in trouble so I just yelled good bye to her waving happily knowing that this was reality, yet regretting my actions. I thought about chasing after her to give her a proper farewell not knowing when we’ll meet again but I didn’t do it. Like she would say, ‘Results, not excuses.’ After that day it soon brought something new.

Part 10 – Aftermath 

Ever since meeting up we got closer and closer. We webcammed more often and I already had her number to text her via AIM when she went out, I just did it more. At this time I was still dating Justine and all of that happened. I guess Tiffany took my mind from all that crap she gave me from her endless needs and wants and clingyness to the max. It was one of those things where perhaps I liked Tiffany, just maybe due to my current relationship not really being considered one. We barely talked, she nagged at me nonstop and a bunch of fighting during the last few months. And during those last few months Tiffany was there taking my mind off all of it with her entertaining personality. Anyways, you may say what you want with I did with Justine but she eventually broke it off with me and the impact wasn’t even that big because of Tiffany. Only after then did I realize I like her but I didn’t tell her. She was ideal; if you want the simple stuff…not a druggie, doesn’t drink, not flirtatious, vvh0re, and etc. We eventually got married on Maplestory when she got back from vacation, her bishop and my shadower; t**g***a and xAscendent. I soon got her to spit out that she likes me but I forget how. I’m really good at twisting people’s words around to favour my own situation. So I got her to confess to me, haha. I eventually told her I did too but we didn’t leave it like that. We knew we liked another but not exactly girlfriend/boyfriend garbage. It was that kind of relationship if you know what I meant. She eventually sent me mail which was pretty cool. I felt guilty making her spend $20 USD on me for that. Her package contained a bunch of tumblr drawings which were quite amusing that pertained to us, a bunch of stupid tour guides/pamphlet garbage from my city, a kitty mirror (its dam cute), a nifty writing utensil that has 4 pens and a pencil built into one thing, and a dog that has the words ‘I Love You’ on a bone that was around its collar. There are 2 dogs in that doll/plushie set. There were built in magnets on the bone that attached both dogs together. I knew she didn’t love me but it was the thought that counted so hold your horses. Anyways as you skip the months of talking and all that growing bonds and that kind of stuff I mentioned before, and that brings us to the nearing summer. Before that I just wanna say a few things about Tiffany. She was the cute type that never applied makeup, let alone how, yet her natural beauty did not escape me. Oh how stunning she was when she had her prom night with the makeup she put on for the first time. Haha, yeah I was jealous of her date which was a close friend of hers. She wasn’t tall or short, just perfect in my eyes. Did I forget to say we skype/cammed for hours and one time we reached like 13 hours? She’d ask me questions about everything thinking I had the answer lolol, I tried my best anyhow. Anyways, she told me she was going on a trip around Asia and that it’ll be hard for us to talk to another due to lack of internet access. I wasn’t too disheartened as something so trivial wouldn’t stop our relationship, not the bf/gf one. Engrave that. Although communication wasn’t an issue, something else was.

Part 11 – Issues 

It wasn’t all fun and games like you may think. We had some fights here and there but we over came them. No big. Like she would say, ‘ the fights we overcome only brought us closer together’, something along those lines. As her school year ended and summer came before our eyes, she departed California for Taiwan and Japan. She was going to be away for a month but that was okay. Although we were in different time zones we always sent another a long email about whatever we wanted to talk about and she included what she did on her vacation. I was happy that I could hear from her even though we were now more than 2150 miles away from another or something like that when she calculated the distance in Google maps. This continued for around 3-4 weeks but missing a few days during the whole duration. We webcammed when we had the chance to but it wasn’t often, still something. During her absence I heard the song ‘Jet Lag’ by Simple Plan over the radio. I liked it, instantly. I sent her an email with the youtube link and we eventually talked about it. If you heard about the song you’ll understand, if not here. I told her I would memorize it sometime soon and sing it to her. To this day I know the lyrics but I’ve never sung it to her… During those 3-4 weeks being the insecure type she was, she thought I stopped caring because of how I replied to her emails. I tried to fix this but it didn’t work out. She still didn’t believe me and always had doubt but what could I do? I honestly tried and the distance wasn’t helping either. We were still talking like normal though, but I guess it was just a bit different now. This reminds me of how she wrote in her journal for me from time to time. Although it has nothing to do with this Part, its still nice to tell you about it. She would write about the most randomest things you could imagine, like how her school day was or how her shoes were hurting or a bunch of tumblr jokes, you name it. She would date it and sign her name differently each time with the different nicknames she had. She would always take a photo of it and send it to my email so I could see it the next day. She even gave me the most creative nickname for me, first to ever hear that kind of nickname. Anyways that was all the good stuff. She was back around August and we finally talked normally again yet it suddenly went downhill from there. It was around mid August, 21st actually, that I got my license. I started to go out more often at night because I was able to drive my friends and I around. My time for Tiffany had lessened and I suppose she felt neglected and unwanted. Soon it boiled up inside of her and she told me over msn. I read it but I couldn’t respond because Teddy was over that day and I couldn’t let him read it. She basically felt she was not important to me anymore; I wasn’t her ideal person anymore with the personality traits she use to love. This made things even worse with her saying how I didn’t tell my friends. My friends were the type to make fun of you for such things so I didn’t bother with them; they have no real interest in females I guess. I tried to talk things out but it evidently didn’t work as my time for her had become less and less with Teddy coming back to my town and him wanting to catch up and all with everyone else. She emailed her words to me in times I wasn’t online or times that I told her I didn’t get it over msn as I accidently ESC’d in panic if Teddy were to see. I read every word, every word was taken into consideration, every word never left my mindset. I saw what I had been doing to her. I made my decision.

Part 12 – Decision 

The opportunity came and it was unavoidable, the decision. Things had gone rougher and rougher as the days passed. I purposely stopped logging onto AIM or even texting her hoping she would lose hope as I told her to go away numerous times. I think she thought I was kidding but I was serious. Finally she told me we could still work things out, I thought so too, or she’ll go away like I told her too. I told her that I wanted her to go away, I didn’t really but it was the only way I could stop her suffering on a long term scale. I told her cruel things that I probably shouldn’t have, you’re annoying, I never liked you, your tumblr was crap – it meant it a lot to her and etc. She told me everything I said was false, it was, but I had to keep my stance in order to let her go. I continued to deny her accusations but she eventually gave up. I had won something regretful. I let her go for the sake of herself. I had not kept my promise of not leaving her alone as she feared. Her fears manifested into reality but in good time I knew she would be better off. I had made myself the antagonist holding my pride high in order to accomplish my desire. I knew I was special to her. She had told me so many things she hadn’t told anyone. Her wall was broken down and she had let me in. Our December break plans were now in the past; we planned it so I would have been able to come over to California for a week or so. I knew I had done something horrible but it was too late to go back. Yes, I’ve realized what I had done and you may think of it as whatever but deep down, I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do yet, at the same time it was. The last words she told me was ‘ Okay, I’ll always be here but only as a FRIEND and nothing more’. I didn’t respond, I ESC’d it hoping her good future. I’m sorry Tiffany.

Chapter 4 – Grade 12

Part 13 – Her, again

It was around the end of August, just the week or so before the decision (lolol basketball anyone?) that I met her again. Teddy slept over that night and it was around 2am-3am when he joked to go to her house. I knew he was joking so I agreed but he wasn’t kidding around. I didn’t mind going because she had a lot of food all the time, that’s what I knew from grade 9. I agreed, for the food because I was starving that night. Her family was white washed always barbecuing everything, yum. I told my mom that I was going to go out and eat and she laughed it off lolol. I was, but you know just not a restaurant haha. I got dressed and we walked over to her house which took like 10 minutes at max. When we arrived she greeted us and we entered her kitchen, how nostalgic. I believed we play monopoly deal that night, she was real excited. We never played monopoly deal, well Teddy did but he forgot how, so she taught us. I talked mad crap to her and told her I would win, and I did. Beginners luck huh? There wasn’t an awkward atmosphere between her and I; we just had to break the ice. Being the rude mouth I was, I trashed her and we had one of those hate like friendships if you get what I mean. We ended up playing monopoly deal for awhile and eating a bunch of stuff that left her a lot of dishes to wash. That was how we first talked again in over 2 years. When we left her house around 4am-5am and went back to mine to call it a night. As Teddy slept on my floor with some blankets as covering we started to talk abouther. Previously the both of us had gone on a tour around some of the American states like NY, Boston, Washington and Philly. During one of those nights, I forget which place, we were talking about her. We were talking about our grade 12 prom as Teddy was moving back. He had a girl from his city he wanted to bring and we were talking about me and who I thought I would go with. There was no one in my mind, Tiffany was all the way in California; out of the question but oh how I wished if it were possible. Anyways, he started listing a bunch of girls and I gave my rational for each. He mentioned her and saying how it could be quite possible if I were to set her as my goal and make it happen. He gave me an anecdote. I didn’t give this much thought as at this point I liked Tiffany, but what he said could had been foreshadowing the future. He was sure this could be possible as he knew he was capable of bringing the three of us back together. And that’s how I talked to her again since the summer of grade 9.

Part 14- Rekindling – On Our Way

Various events occurred throughout the end of August and September that had rekindled our friendship. Who needs event order as I forget the many things that happened. During the last week of August I had convince her to sneak out of her house around 2am-3am to go to McDonalds with me. After much contemplation of pros and cons, she decided to go like the bad ass she thought she was. As I parked outside her house I could see a glimmering white light walking down her stairs. I knew it was her dumb flashlight she carried around everywhere. She stepped into my car panicking in fret as if she were to get caught. Her mom was a light sleeper. As I drove down 14th Avenue she wanted to go back. She was already complaining about her actions and how she will get caught therefore leading her to some nasty consequences. As she would say, ‘ I’m already treading in crap water I can’t do it!’ I told her to shut up and calm down; we didn’t go back after she finally calmed her nerves. The windshield of my car started to fog up but I thought this was inside and not outside. It started to build up and we drove in the dark with an unclear view. Oh the danger of this mission to McDonald’s. I did everything thinking it was fogging up inside, yes the heat was on and yadayada. She told me maybe it’s from the outside and I shot her idea down. How was that possible? I gave it a shot and to my surprise, it worked. We started to laugh like crazy as we thought it was inside the whole time. Well… the night was really foggy so I guess the water vapour built up huh? I was driving with a foggy view to Tim Horton’s seeing various cops on the sidewalk supervising the road construction at night. I ended up getting a fish fillet combo to satisfy my hunger and she got a snack size McFlurry. She fed me as I drove home. She was horrible at feeding people. She dropped the mayo in my fillet all over my shorts. Not only did she try to fix this by wiping it, she made it worse by spilling a bit of my drink. Klutz. She ended up going home without being caught, I knew she had enjoy the adrenaline in this mission as it was her first time sneaking out with a friend. Apparently her sister had asked her why are you still awake when she sneaked back home. Her sister had thought she was asleep because of she had made a fake body of herself in her bed sleeping. She got away with sneaking out. And then summer ended, after much monopoly deal at her house and other card games with her cousin, her, Teddy and I.

Shortly school started and we went to registration together. We found out we had a couple of classes together like Math, oh grade 10, and a bunch of the same lunches. She eventually transferred into my international trades class sitting a table group in front of me. She eventually sat at my table without the teachers consent but he didn’t care. Anyways, as I analyzed my surroundings the majority of the seniors who had saw us were going wtf in their head. These two again? After 2 years, wow, unexpected. We talked normally when I drove her to school as I had the same lunches as her (first period off, sleep in yay!). This year around my classes was all upstairs and my locker was downstairs. I needed an upstairs locker and I found out she had one. I asked her if we could share hers, she had no problem. Thank you for repaying that loan I lent you in grade 9. She gave me her top shelf as she couldn’t reach it lolol. I didn’t care what shelf as I tossed everything in hers if mine was too full from disorganized binder positions. I think she has OCD about this kinda stuff and I continued doing that with my carefree life. OCD…she also has one for MUST being on the left side of a person. Why? Well… she does everything on the left side apparently… hold hands…listen to music…and that was probably it lolol, everything huh? Anyways, sometimes we would have breakfast together as we had first period off. She came over to play basket ball sometimes, she sucked. She was quite the baller in grade 9, guess she lost it. Usually she would come over during the weekend around 4pm-5pm-ish I believe and this one time at like 9pm with her cousin. During this one game of basket ball she had issue with her friend, Nick.

Part 14.1- Nick 

She liked Nick and I knew it without her having to tell me. I didn’t know Nick in person but whenever Teddy and I came over late at night during the summer/weekends and played monopoly deal, she would be texting him. She had that kind of smile, it was a little too obvious. Nick also likes her. I had no interest in the both of them but during that game of basket ball, she revealed to me that Nick and her were ex-couples, however they still like another. She told me that one day he jumped the gun on her and implied something that led him to break up with her. She wanted my advice and I told her so. Her only problem was that she would not date anyone more than once as it was against her morals; why will it work the second time if the first did not? I gave her my advice which I forget what but she was so indecisive. I took the stance of go date him again, f your morals. If it provides you happiness, by all means you should go for it. She would then argue against me trying to prove me wrong. Okay, fine. I took the stance of do not date him again but I didn’t have no good reason as I didn’t know Nick and her relationship. She would then argue at me again but I forget what she said but it was a lot of gibberish and non sense she had spouted out at me. Eventually we concluded that she will call Nick and she will ask him what are they exactly doing? She explained how they should stop all of this over the phone and apparently he was crying over the phone and whatnot if memory serves me right. In the end nothing changed as he completely did not accept what she had said; and then she was back to where she started.

As time passed and it hit around mid September, she had finally gotten over Nick. She eventually revealed it was thanks to me due to my carefree spirit you may call it. She convinced herself that this wasn’t benefiting her and their situation will resolve nothing. She kept telling me she will tell him in person and end whatever they had together. I told her no she would not as she was just talk, no actions. She proved me wrong. After much procrastination she had proven me wrong. I had to get a haircut one day near Nick’s house and I offered her ride to his house to resolve her problem as her resolve did not waver anymore (lolol @ the 2 resolve meanings). I would get my hair cut and by the time I was done, she would have to wrap things up with him. I dropped her off and it began. As I came to pick her up after my hair cut, I called her to come out or was it my friend that was also there. Anyways, as she came out the door was slammed on her and my friend and I went wtf? We asked her what she had done to him and she explained. According to her it wasn’t that bad and he ‘understands’ or what not. He was clearly not okay, common; he slammed the door on you. Anyways, her situation with Nick got kind of awkward and what not. According to her, he was colder to her and their talking got different. Ehh. They still talk and all to this day I think, but don’t take my word for it.

Part 15 – Again

It was a Saturday night, that started it again. At this time I had been talking a lot of crap to her in a mean but friendly way, always proving her wrong when she provoked me. We were at the Tim Hortons on Highway 7 getting her a steep tea double double and a hot chocolate for me; the air was getting cold around October. We placed our drinks in the cup holders, then proceeding into talking about something that was nothing. We were one of those people that were capable of talking about anything instead of sitting there in silence unless we opted to. I forget what I had said but it had led me to say ‘What if I kissed you on the lips?’ in context to what we were talking about. She didn’t think I had the guts to do it. I did. I leaned in from my seat to her face and kissed her lips but only after much friendly no you wouldn’t, and yes I woulds. She didn’t move away when I leaned closer. She didn’t move away when I kissed her. She accepted it. Her face was one of amazement, the surprised amazement of course. I had proven her wrong. She had asked me why I had done it but really I didn’t have a clue. I thought for a moment and the best answer I could supply was ‘I don’t know’. I did know, just maybe; it was to see if I had liked her. I did not. It seems like she did not mind as it was one of those things that she believed happened only once and that we were really close friends now adding onto our past. We moved locations for two reasons after our little talk of what just happened. 1) We were right in front of the Tim Horton’s in my car and 2) Her mom had just called to see where she was and when she’d be home. I drove to the nearby plaza and we continued to talk on the same topic. It eventually led us to be a bit more intimate than before at Tim Horton’s and thus it. Her mom called as it was approaching 12am on a Saturday night. Her mom is always like this, don’t worry. Always bitter to anyone who tries to get close to her daughter lolol. I drove her home without any awkwardness or anything you may think there would be. It was normal, just like in grade 9. I proved her wrong once more, but telling her that I would never like her ever again; it wasn’t a onetime thing.

It happened again a week later approximately. My memory is a bit fuzzy right now not remembering how it exactly came to be but we were at a red light awaiting the dam left turn signal that only occurs like never. We were returning from my restaurant most likely to go home. The light was taking an eternity which I had brought up the topic of ithappening again. She denied it, but it was in a way in which she expected it yet not wanting it. I had enough time to sneak one on her before the light flashed a left turn signal only. I read the atmosphere after while driving, it was different. She was not talking much now but I could see through my peripheral vision that she was thinking. Thinking of what just happened most likely and reason. I asked her if she was thinking of why I did it again and she questioned if it was just to ‘prove’ her wrong. I responded with ‘Aren’t you the curious one?’ which resulted in her being a little embarrassed and a little stubborn (because I had read her). She stopped talking for awhile continuing with her attitude. I tried talking to her but she gazed out the window. I can’t write much here considering how I was driving but I was a little worry how she got quiet. It wasn’t like her. She finally spoke, “I guess we are back to where we started.” I guess we were. We were back to grade 9, or should I say starting where we left off in grade 9. Did I like her at this time? Just a bit, maybe, but I didn’t feel the exact same feelings for her as I once did. Things have returned to how they once were, not really.

It was around next week on a Friday night, perhaps a Saturday night that we left our houses at 1am-2am. Previously we had been planning to eradicate one of our ex’s items, in my case my vandalized agenda. It needed to disappear. I forget what she had but it was something her ex made; unimportant, my agenda is the embodiment of all evil. Oh the shivers I get when I think of the hell my agenda went through. She sneaked out once more but in a calmer manner. I had been standing outside her house like an idiot wandering around her street not trying to look suspicious in my dark outerwear that labels me as a thief. I texted her to come out. Again I saw her dumb flashlight’s light going down the stairs. It had taken her forever to try to be sneaky. She exited her house in outdoor wear for the night that would keep her warm. My heart was finally at ease to see her; the ease of not lurking around her house in the dark night. She came out with the stuff we would bury at the nearby park. We proceeded to walk down the path that led to the park holding hands that was illuminated by the various lamp posts. We arrived at the park; it was a small one with only one slide, a swing and a stupid thing you sit on to move around. We decided to dig a hole big enough to cover both our objects under the slide, a perfect place to remember where we had buried it. She flashed open her flashlights, and passed both of them to me. She proceeded to dig with her garden shovel she had taken from home. I shined the flashlight at the spot where we would dig the hole at. We switched every now and then. She kept asking me if this was illegal, I didn’t know. The sand pit wasn’t all that deep; we hit the cement pretty darn quickly which had saddened her. It wasn’t a big hole nor was it too small, just big enough for the size of my agenda and the small object she had. We placed our things in the hole and placed all the sand back into its rightful place. The past is now the past. We had just created the time capsule type thing we wanted to. We would come back after graduation or so and look for our buried treasures. It was a plan. After all of this digging we dusted off all the dirt and proceeded to sit on the platform in which the slide was connected to. She sat there lying on my chest while my arms were wrapped around her. We sat there gazing into the night sky; periodically looking at the stars and just talking or giving another a kiss. It was getting cold but our cuddling had sustained us a good amount of warmth from the incoming winter. It was around 4am-5am now and we debated if we should spend the night here or not. After talking about it for a bit we dropped it but eventually we decided that our fatigue had the better of us. I walked her home giving her a good night hug and kiss before she entered her welcoming home. I walked home only to realize I wasn’t tired anymore. She wasn’t either according to her text. We spent the night texting another until we got tired. We called it a night.

Part 16 – One More Time 

A week has passed and our relationship has basically become what I had described in grade 9. Wonderful. I enjoyed every moment only to realize I had liked her again. I told her I would not like her again, never, but I did. There was something about her I didn’t know that drew me back in. I told Teddy I would never like the same girl twice, I was wrong. She was special if she was capable of doing this to me. I like her. I didn’t tell her but I’m sure everyone in our school knew. It was exactly like grade 9. She enjoyed it too although she actually said it. I could tell. I could tell just by reading her emotions, she was easy to read, well at least to me. I haven’t known her as long a I did in grade 9, but nothing has changed between us. Her personality hasn’t changed one bit, but I can’t exactly same for myself. She would always say ‘ YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME?’ when I read her and said it out loud. I told her I didn’t know her and I did not want to without telling her the reasons to why. She wanted to know. Here you go. I don’t want to know you as well as you think I would in fear that I would grow tired of you. I want that unpredictability of you to stay. Anyways, it was around a week of these simple activities that mirrored grade 9 before it changed, again. I asked her if she would get bored of all of this like she did in grade 9. She said it was quite possible. I didn’t want history to repeat itself, not on my watch. I changed history.

It was within a week where I found myself at her house doing homework with her. We had gotten off task and started talking about us. I forget what she said but she had indirectly told me that she liked me. I hadn’t provoked her this time, she accidentally spilled it herself while answering my questions pertaining to us. I said ‘So you like me then?’ She fidgeted and tried to change the topic knowing that I was right. She tried to get back at me by saying ‘So I can say you like me as well then…” I didn’t answer back, I did, but I changed the topic back to her liking me to justify my arguement. She gave up knowing I was right. I had interrogated her to the point where she had given hope of concealing her secret. She whined “That’s unfaiiiiir… you’re an unfair bear”. I told her she can just confess to me now like how them girls in Japanese Animes. We had a debate about this and how the guy can do it too. I had won, I got her to confess to me on the condition that I would tell her my feelings as well. She likes me. I changed the topic, away from all this liking stuff just to see her reaction. I got what I wanted, her reaction. She had called me unfair for doing what I did, I know I was but I didn’t care. I eventually told her after creating suspense in the atmosphere. I planned that I would tell her in the end but only after having some fun. I had my fun and I told her my feelings as well. I told her I liked her too. What of it now? She had complained after her ‘That’s unfaiiiiiir, you’re an unfair bear’ line that is it a bad thing to like me again. She didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing to like me. I suppose she was really confused thinking that she shouldn’t like me again because we are such close friends, once more. She didn’t want whatever we had currently to disappear, she treasured it and so did I. I understood if she didn’t want to go out because of this, again, but history didn’t repeat itself. She realized that she too wanted to change history and did not want it to repeat itself. She gave us a chance after I told her my feelings, boy was she nervous of going first because what I had told her in the beginning, “I’ll never like you again.” Cute. She as well didn’t want grade 9 to repeat itself, her insight had told her that we could had become something more, something better, something amazing. We didn’t go out, not just yet. I didn’t want to ask her out in this atmosphere and time. I wanted it to be something better than this. I told her I would ask her out sometime soon. She agreed. Did she wait eagerly for that day? I don’t know but I hope you tell me after reading this.

Part 17 – October 21st, 2011

It was during the week of October 21st that I asked her out. It was a week full of spirit in our school because it was filled with daily events during 3rd and 4th lunch for Octoberfest. I told her all my plans of how I would ask her out with non intention of doing so for any of them, but she took some of them seriously and liked it. She said I ruined everything by spoiling it and maybe I did haha. I didn’t have a real way of asking her out, I was going to go with the moment but I stuck to one idea that I teased her about. I told her during the Octoberfest event where every club sold whatever they wanted to, cupcakes, drinks, ice cream(this wasn’t on October 21st), I would stand on top of one of the tables and pronounce my love for her. I would shout out to the whole entire cafe where almost everyone will be and expect an answer out of her with everyone staring at her. Well not love, but like. She had this thing where her ex’s told her that they loved her within a month or so. She couldn’t possibly accept that and that’s why I said I would pronounce my love for her. Octoberfest came and I was advertising for my club by shouting to the whole cafe to buy these overpriced ice cream sandwhiches. While I was at it, I always told her I’ma about to scream my love for her which resulted in a cute reaction of her pleading me not to. She laughed and all but I knew she truly didn’t want the attention and she told me so too after. The both of us sat at our club table watching the spirited students run around buying treats and our fellow club members full of spirit. As the event ended, I ultimately didn’t do what I teased her about and was she forever grateful LOL. Everything just went down hill from there with our dang math test on such a spirited day. We both bombed it with the excitement of the day within us not making the transition back to math. The both of us complained to another about the math test, but tomorrow was October 21st and that was the day how I unexpectantly asked her out.

It was October 21st and I came to pick her up from her house like any other day to get to school. It was the typical morning; she would be late because she had fell asleep on her bed after her shower therefore leading her to rushing downstairs panicking about time. I left my house relatively late so I can get to school just on time but with her tardiness, I started to become late for every morning class. Anyways, it was the usual morning and we arrived at school around 10 minutes late like always. It didn’t matter to her because she had lunch again meanwhile I had accounting. Good thing my teacher doesn’t care if I’m late or not! I saw her after my accounting class and she looked terrible. She told me she was aching from so much pain from her period. She had taken prescribed period pain killers from her friend and it didn’t help at all. She was dying on the inside and I felt so bad because it was impossible to help her rid of the pain. She told me she might go home if she couldn’t take the pain because she had a ride from a friend. And, she eventually did. I didn’t see her for the last two periods which made me feel kinda weird as I always saw her during those classes. It felt different without her. The day felt different without her. Although I never talk to her in math or not as much as I do in the class before, I still missed her presence. Her presence was enough to change a lot of things, and it is important to me. The school day ended and I decided to drive to her house after school and see how she was doing. I called her when I was outside her house and to my surprise; she was still on her bed curled up in a ball sucking up her pain. She wouldn’t come downstairs and she just gave me her garage code which I tend to forget. I let myself into her nostalgic home and made my way to her room. Her room is painted a light green and it was filled with furniture. Her computer table in the corner, the bookshelf opposite to it, and her bed in the middle and in front of that bed is her little drawers filled with her accessories for her daily outfits. I sat on her bed and asked how she was doing while stroking her hair. She let out a cry for help, whining I would say, about her pain and agony. I couldn�t help but chuckle at her reactions, golden. I proceeded to lay down with her, cuddling her to help her forget the pain. And surprisingly, it worked. After a bit, I proceeded to ask her out while cuddling her but of course I made her turn around to face me. I looked her in the eye and asked her if she would be my girlfriend. Just a bit of surprise there, just a bit, because of the time and atmosphere. She did her little act of thinking about it just to get at me, but with confidence she said yes. She asked me if this was the really ideal way she would wanted to be asked out. I told her no, but it didn�t hurt anyone. It wasn�t too bad was it? I drove to her house to see how she was doing after not seeing her for the last 3 periods of class. She told me she was in too much pain to answer the door so I let myself into her house only to find her curled up in a ball. I comforted her and asked her. Not too bad. We talked about us. We would keep it a secret for the time being. I didn�t mind, secret or not it wasn�t a big deal, we liked another and that was that until herfriend found out accidently. Chapter 1 – Grade 9

PART 1 – An Introduction to Her

As she walked into the room awfully late as I, for reasons uknown, I knew something was about begin with that welcoming smile of hers. She proceeded to ask me if she could sit next to me as my seat was empty; located at the second furthest row from the back and third row from the left of the room. Of course I responded with a yes – and that is how I met her. I later figured out that she was also in my English class the next day as my school functions on a day 1 and 2 basis. She decided to also sit beside me during English. She found out my locker was in ‘1st hall’ (a hall downstairs), and she questioned as if she could share it with me. I didn’t mind so I let her share it with me. As I look back it now, this was probably what triggered everything. Anyways, I always came to school attending to my class near my locker only to see a crowd of her friends around it. I awkwardly pass through getting my books, bidding farewell as I walk into class with the mission impossible theme song in the background (song was always played before class starts to make you know there was a minute left before class starts).

As my 9’er year fast forwards, we evidently got closer together along with my friend Teddy. Teddy is my friend and eventually bestfriend during my 9’er year. She spent her lunches with her friends in the cold cafe meanwhile I spent mines in the hot cafe with my friends. She eventually came across the nickname phase and she thought she had such a creative one, Dee. We chilled after school doing various things as the three musketeers we were. I remember vividly this one time we were eating lunch as a three,her, Teddy and I, and I was a little nervous eating with her that I subconsciously started pulling my socks up. She baked often and I ate her sweets often. She really was one of a kind. Her personality, the outgoing ambitious attitude she always presented was never defied. Always talking to everybody, just being friendly, but obviously you would have various thoughts if you were crushing on her right?

Anyways, it became obvious I liked her and everyone around knew it by… I don’t know… say after January at the earliest? I enjoyed my time with her, it passed by fast and happiness was always there. It didn’t matter what we did but I knew that whatever it was, we both enjoyed it just as much. She eventually got a boyfriend but I forget when this was but it wasn’t a big deal (they broke up afterwards, idk when but early I think). I was just fine being a really close friend, I really was. Being in a relationship at that time never really bothered me; just the time spent was enough for me. Although I can honestly say there was this one incident where it bugged me and I couldn’t forget. Teddy and her brought up this problem on who my bestfriend was. She insisted it was her but I never really commented as I liked her. Of course you would get the friend zone vibe from this, what foreshadowing haha. Of course as rumors went, the whole grade probably knew we liked another (after sometime she broken it off with the guy). Skipping all the days, weeks, and months, we finally get to May. May was a big month.

PART 2 – May

As May approached our bond grew, our friendship grew, our relationship grew. I remember going over to her house one day during May for reasons which I forget. I believe we did some homework. As the sky darkened and time told it was late, she did something. Something that would forever change our relationship. I guess you can say we started to get intimate? She started this thing where she kisses my nose and I would return it by kissing her on the forehead (this was probably sometime early May before this changing event). She escalated this and kissed around my lips, so upper/lower lip. Of course you would get the hint she wanted to kiss, and eventually after trading off…we did so. As the clock struck 9 or 10 or whatever, I had to leave as it was a school night. I proceeded to the room where you exit into the garage. It was a straight path and she followed. I told her to close to the door causing it to be pitch dark. We proceeded to hug, a sense of farewell you can say and before I left, I did it. I told her, ‘ The rumours are true, I actually do like you. Will you go out with me? ‘ I finally asked her out. It took a lot out of me; fearing rejection like any normal human being would, but, how could have I not after such a situation? She stood there silent for a moment as I anticipated her answer in fear. Her lips moved.

Basically she told me that we should be friends because she feared losing our friendship due to becoming a couple. Understandable. I accepted this and things didn’t go awkward or anything. Our new relationship continued until around July I suppose. We secretly held hands when we took the bus home, placing our hands under our backpacks, and secretly giving another a kiss on the cheek/lip. We were closer than ever before. We acted all coupley and such but not exactly at school. Well… everyone at school already assumed so or that we were on the verge of or knew we liked another. As the days passed, I was at her house again, not uncommon but yeah. The mood was correct, and it pained me, what we were doing, that I had to ask her again. She gave me the same answer but I really did try, really. I didn’t want to impose this or anything so I left things how it was. I liked it, I didn’t want this to change. I recall her giving me a charm bracelet, and I kept it. As summer school drew close, I didn’t see her for a week before it started.

I met her again on the first day of summer school. My friends and I were all meeting up again finding each others class. She found her friend from her old elementary school and was with her other friends from our current high school. I wore that charm bracelet she gave me to school that day carrying it on my wrist. She noticed but only briefly commented on it as she had to catch up with her friends. Sometime during the month I placed the bracelet in a drawer in my room, leaving it there. As summer school passed, we eventually got split up. I don’t recall why or what happened that made us fall apart but I do have a guess. We saw each other less and less each day, not even spending lunch with another as she chilled with her old friends and new ones she made in summer school. It got hard talking to her and I suppose this never really bothered her as she was always so busy, at least I perceived so. I suppose my importance in her life diminished and I decided that it was best to let life choose my path – destiny or whatever you want to call this. It eventually led us to barely talking, and then eventually never. Summer school ended and by this point, our ties, bond, friendship and relationship had been broken. I suffered greatly as I recalled. Teddy told me I was really depressed and what not, but this was 9er summer year. I don’t remember what I went through but it was a lot. I was experiencing family problems and I recall sleeping over at Teddy’s during my summer school days. He had an extra room in his basement and I was grateful. He gave me some blankets but his basement was really cold. As I waited for morning, I thought about it: my problem with her was basically adding salt onto my wounds at this time. The two of us bussed to school that morning and yeah. Not important but what is, is what will become the two of us when summer draws to an end and what will a new school year awaiting bring us?

Chapter 2 – Grade 10

Part 3 – The Departing and Departed

It’s now grade 10, a fresh new year and I’ve used August to get over her. We didn’t communicate after summer school. Vanished from my life. I don’t recall if I lived in a hut or something but I do remember playing a lot of maplestory, lol. Anyways, onwards with grade 10! I only had two classes with her, math and science. Teddy was also in my class and we sat next to another. She was sitting diagonally to the right of us, just by one row. I would look at her from time to time but ultimately realize what is in the past cannot be re- obtained so easily. I left it be, yes, destiny once more. We never once spoke in math but I believe neither of us really found it awkward as we just suddenly stopped all connections. We were in the same science class room that we met in, thee very same class room she walked in late into that let us to meet. However, this time it was different. I sat to the column second row closest to the right of the room, second closest row to the teacher’s bench meanwhile she sat on the third column closest to the right and first row. Haha, I do recall this one time where she awkwardly handed me my white sweater that I totally forgot about. The teacher was probably the most hated one in grade 10; giving detentions out after 3 lates. I always fell asleep in that class, her voice was really soothing lolol, just like a melody. Teddy found out he had to move to a different town that year. He eventually moved and left me alone in math. Yes, I had other friends and all like the ones who sat in front/behind me but he is my bestfriend. Teddy and I didn’t speak much to another online but we did every so often. He came to visit friends from the town he use to be in and when he did we hanged out. Each time we met another we basically started off where we left off from before. Nothing has really changed between him and I. Teddy still talked to her but I didn’t however. I don’t know what the situation was like but it didn’t bother me as she didn’t concern me anymore at this point. Its not like I’ve forgotten her, erasing memories of her and I but its just I would rather be in a situation where I’m not thinking about it. In the end, I lost two great friends, and of course I had others, but they didn’t scale up to Teddy and her. It was only early grade 10, what now?

Part 4 – Crush

I don’t know when it started but it doesn’t matter, I realized I ‘liked’ this girl (different girl than the one in Chapter 1). When I look at it now, I guess it was just infatuation, lol. She was in my business class and we didn’t sit next to another. Tables were arranged in the form of squares, four table each square. I was in the middle and she was diagonal to my right. I always moved spots each class to sit next to her as it was empty. The teacher always sent me back to my original seat but that didn’t stop me each day. She was really hard to talk to, honestly. Spending the whole school year getting to know her wasn’t exactly the easiest year. Always refusing to initiate a conversation, only speaking a word and just how shy she was… I don’t even know what made me like her but let’s just fast forward grade 10. Zoomzoomzoomzoom. It’s now May and I could say we’ve gotten closer but not to the point of dating. May was the month where we got closer together, with some help of our friends of course.

Part 5 – Summer 

It was May and that meant the amusement park was about to open! In the summer the amusement park is usually jam packed with long lines but during May, it is empty. Teddy and I and all of my crush’s friends got a summer’s pass to go to the park. On the first day, it was so empty and I do recall her ripping her jacket in the horrid weather. The strong wind on the most intimidating roller coaster at the park was fierce, piercing your very skin. Anyways our group went so often during May and the summer. They would always set her up trying to sit next to me but I didn’t have a preference. I usually sat with Teddy, I didn’t mind who I sat with, even alone. I guess as time passed and making use of our passes, we got to know another better and it was easier to talk. She usually made jokes and stuff because she was shy but let’s skip time.

Teddy and I had dinner with our crush’s one day at Boston Pizza I think. We dined outside and at this time the sky darkened around 7-8 as summer drew to an end. I hinted Teddy to go to the washroom during the dinner to tell him my plans but at first he didn’t get my hint. Lolol now that I look back at how we acted out of miscommunication. The walk home was a dark one on a cold night but we lived close, it wasn’t that bad. As we headed to the two roads diverged by a stop light, Teddy pulled a stunt on me. He took his crush and went on another path than I, as I was walking in front of him. The road I had taken was a community without lights, or very little actually. I scared her couple of times knowing how she’s a scaredy cat but as we approached her house, I ravelled all my courage within and proceeded with what I told Teddy. She stopped with her back facing my chest, my arms around her, she flinched and struggled, I asked her out.

Part 6 – Answer 

She stood there in silence. The streetlamp flickered, and the silence continued…awkward. I asked her if she needed some time to think and she instantly replied with a yes. I didn’t know why but it was probably cause of her shy personality. She walked onto her driveway and into her house. I stood there in amazement at what I’ve done. I wasn’t sure if this response was a good thing or what due to the awkward silence but what done was done. I darted off down her street as fast as I could through the cold night meeting up with Teddy and his crush along the way. He had told her what was done and we made our way to my house. I told Teddy what happened and he shortly returned to his city the next day as it was a school night.

We acted normally like nothing happened at school as if nothing changed. This continued for a week or so and I got a little worried. Was she too shy to give me an answer? Did I have to initiate the conversation like always and ask her again? Only she knew. One night after our trip to the amusement park, it was just the four of us again, the same four I mentioned at Boston Pizza. We were walking home as the buses weren’t scheduled to run so late. We walked Teddy’s crush home first and I told him I would wait for him here at the bus stop where it was safe with lighting with my crush. He agreed as he had some business with his crush as well. I forget how but I brought up the topic again with her. I suppose it was kind of awkward and such because of the atmosphere and her personality lolol. She gave me her answer: yes. I was so happy and we hugged in the bus stop shielding us from the cold. We sat there waiting for Teddy to come back, hugging from time to time. I even recall some guy stopping near us as it was a red light and he shouted something, probably wheels along with some chuckling. Time passed and I eventually strolled down the path with her to see Teddy and his crush sitting on the pavement talking to another. Woops! We just interrupted his important talk, haha. My girlfriend of just a few minutes and I waited a few houses away giving them privacy and eventually we walked home together. Teddy asked his crush out but things didn’t go too well for him, sadly. I was so sure they would be together but it seems like she led him on. I was grateful for his help and sorry at the same time for him.

Summer finally came. We started going to the amusement park with the whole group as a recognized couple amongst them. It wasn’t too awkward for them as we didn’t act too coupley but the summer of massive runs to the amusement park did bring us even closer together. Fast forwarding summer. We also spent time with just us two…dates…yup. She never took the initiative to ask or whatever and that was really bothersome. Even if you are shy it’s like hinting you don’t want to hang out, whatever. It didn’t bug me too much but I basically led the relationship with almost 0 help from her. What did bug me was how indecisive she was. Never picking something to do, never giving options or even deciding after I’ve given the options. Indecisive. It was still hard to talk to her but a lot easier than beginning of grade 10. Summer came to an end and school was about to start. We were about to become juniors.

Chapter 3 – Grade 11
Part 7 – Problems 

We were going strong through our junior year until probably until March. She had no friends during her lunch so I had to spend mines with her. Awfully boring I must say as she never talked. If she did it’d just be a sentence or two, no real conversation that can be carried out during a lunch break. My friends had this lunch too but I couldn’t sit with them due to her being alone, ehh. It got problematic during March and on wards. I started to sleep during our lunches because we did nothing and I was rather tired after staying up for a Maplestory server check to get some spots for selling chaos zakum helmets. I don’t think this bothered her too much but what else was I to do? Talking didn’t help, going out for lunch was out of the question… oh homework. Yeah, that was what she did while I slept. We had a joking relationship where I made fun of her, even before we started dating it was this. I stopped for awhile but it shortly returned. I continued this and I didn’t understand why she would be mad or whatever cause this is what we did in the past too. I also slept during lunch for this reason to avoid all this crap she gave me. She eventually started accusing me of checking out these girls who were my underclassman but I had no affiliation with them. I recall this one time we were walking down the hall and I turned around looking for her because I didn’t sense her presence. She happened to be behind me and she instantly used her hand and turned my head around. I asked why and I looked around. It was a coincidence that the girl she thinks I like or whatever was beside us when I looked around for her. I asked her why did she do that so vigorously as it was awfully out of her character. She told me it was because it was a joke. Joke my ass. It wasn’t even close to one. Of course I realized why she did it but I never told her that I knew. I don’t even know to this day if she knows that I knows. I tolerated everything she did, I didn’t care anymore. As I recall, we were at a dinner party for a friend and she was there. My girlfriend gave a cold attitude, bearing the presence of her and then eventually going to the washroom to cry. Stupid, and insecure. Whatever. All this fighting eventually led to the biggest day somewhere around April.

Part 8 – April and Anew 

April brought the biggest disaster to our relationship. I was sitting with my guy friends and she sat there too. I was on Caleb’s iPad surfing Facebook to show my friend Ryan a picture of Caleb’s crush. Caleb liked her a lot or so we thought because of his elementary school past with her. Anyways, I found the photo and showed Ryan and we laughed because of Caleb’s reaction when we showed him. Caleb asked for a dance with his crush in grade 8 but sadly got rejected because she was busy ‘eating’ lolol. Anyways, my girlfriend asked to see but I couldn’t show her as Caleb’s crush was her bestfriend. I couldn’t let her know under these circumstances so I refused to show her. I proceeded to use the iPad to go on my friend’s tumblr, Tiffany’s. I met her on Maplestory sometime around Decemeber when I came back from a break. She had some really funny posts that I wanted to show Ryan. I did so, several actually, and my girlfriend asked again if she could see it. I denied her request because it wasn’t something she would find appropriate, something along that line + Caleb doesn’t lend out his iPad to people he doesn’t know. She suddenly lunged over the table (she sat across from me, I was beside Ryan) and looked at the iPad. I was still on the tumblr at this point and I later realized she did that to copy the URL. She went on the tumblr herself via iTouch and proceeded to leave a hate message that went on the lines of something like ‘ you ruined my life. you’re so childish for playing Maplestory, grow up.’ Now I was quite offended: 1) She didn’t know Tiffany. 2) Has no right to say something like that to someone she doesn’t know. 3) How the flip she ruin your life if you don’t even know her? I was engulfed in rage knowing she did something so stupid. She ended up putting her head down crying with all my friends seeing. None of us really commented on it but it was my fault. I didn’t explicitly tell her off, just simply saying why on earth would you do something like that? It was probably because of her realization of her actions and the lack of a response for my question. While putting her head down she took my agenda and wrote all over it. Using a blue pen she wrote ‘flip you’ all over my agenda and ‘you don’t care about me’ with a bunch of scribbles everywhere which caused some holes. She asked me why didn’t I look at her tumblr in an upset tone? You had a tumblr? I told her I didn’t know about it, I really didn’t. She ended up going home after that period with her makeup ruined. Sometime after that event, that night came.

It got kind awkward after this incident which led to that night. This event added oil to the flame that was caused by me previously being all joking saying rude but sarcastic comments and herp derp. I don’t know but she really got bothered by me saying herpssssssderpssssssss loool. Anyways, the night I’m talking about. One night we were talking over MSN and she eventually brought up the topic of us not doing so well together. She said something about how it was harming the both of us and it wasn’t doing the both of us any good, she wanted to take a break. Okay. It didn’t hit me as hard as you would have thought, but it did hit me. I guess its because Tiffany was there and we talked a lot. Hell, she was a whole lot easier to talk to than her. It was a night of self realization that it was finally over, us. After 9 months of being together, it was finally over. The last 3 months weren’t really all that great but it was still a 9 month relationship. We promised to still talk to another even after this ‘break’, and we did until she made it awkward. She sent me her tumblr and sent ‘funny’ posts which did not match my humour. To my knowledge I had already seen all if not most on Tiffany’s tumblr so it wasn’t too bad. As I recall she messaged me AFTER we broke up about how guys only like big chests and why did her mother have to smite her with such…yeah. Not awkward at all. Eventually after two weeks or so she hypothetically asked me if I wanted to go out with her again. She hypothetically asked it in a way where she actually meant it. I told her.

I told her no I wouldn’t go out with her again. I was done. I didn’t want to be in a relationship with her again after all that crap and this ‘break’ were supposed to be help us cool down. Nothing changed, so why? She argued that it was supposed to be a break and we were technically going to be a couple again but I implied it as a total break off. I didn’t care anymore, I was done. My impression of her has forever changed, even to this date, after the incident with the iPad. Her shy personality was the total opposite that day, evil I may even put it. I will never look at her the same as I did before, I don’t even know why I liked her. Soon we slowly stopped talking, and then never. She spent her lunches with whoever, and I spent mines happily with my guy friends. Justine and I were over; she soon became like her.

Part 9 – Tiffany 

I met Tiffany on Maplestory like I told you guys before. It was around December that I came back to Maplestory playing on my chief bandit after hearing it got buffed. I met her at mysterious path 3 while training. I was always adding priests to my buddy list to use them for holy symbol, lolol critic away for doing this. I added her and we were training for a bit until this dual blade comes and ks’s my platform. I cursed him off and we KS’d him for awhile and he eventually left. That’s how I met her. Haha, she even told me she thought I was a little scary for the words I used to curse the dual blade off. We got along really well. Every day I would log on after school and hit up my buddy list to see if she was on. She was never on when I was after school as she was Pacific Time zoned and I was eastern. The three hour difference between us never stopped us from talking on Maplestory though. I just happened to see her a little later…like 4-5 o’clock when she finished school. Our friendship was the kind where we would curse at each other, tell jokes and make fun of another. And yes, at this time I was still dating Justine. We really clicked when you put it in terms of talking. Our conversations never died until I had to go sleep which was like 1-3am sometimes. She had to go around 11pm and that’s when I usually slept too. Yes, this happened meanwhile I was dating Justine but I didn’t have any feelings for Tiffany. She was just a really good friend that was entertaining to talk. Hear me out, I didn’t talk to many people because of Justine. She was really needy and clingy so I didn’t talk much to my guy friends or anyone at all actually during the time I dated her. I only talked to my Maplestory friends, mostly Tiffany though and my guild mates, NikeSB. I recall my guild being fantastic actually; we always trolled everyone, lively. My friendship with Tiffany grew as time passed and we exchanged e-mails knowing Maplestory communication wasn’t the most reliable. She had AIM and I had MSN. We made the opposite account and we usually took turns logging onto either to speak to another if Maplestory wasn’t there. She gave me a photo of herself one day, I forget how but I provoked it and I made fun of her for looking like a child although I knew she was a year older than me. Soon we even gave each other our facebooks soon and we knew how each other looked like. Hell, we even webcammed time to time after that. March was quickly approaching now and she told me she was going to go on vacation and possibly near my town/city/whatever. I was excited.

We planned it all out and decided we would meet at the Eaton’s Center as her brother wanted to visit Toronto. I woke up early that morning to take the bus all the way down to Finch station in order to subway down to Eaton’s. I’ve never done this before but I was confident enough in my transit abilities, I was the god at bussing around so why not subway too? I paid my fare of $2 dollars for the bus then another $2 dollars for the subway. We decided we would meet at the Sears. As I stood anxiously on the subway staring out the window into the darkness, I knew Tiffany and I would soon meet but it was just the matter of time. I arrived at Eaton’s center soon, only to realize I was early. I walked around for a bit and as I made my way up the escalator, I saw Tiffany and her brother about 10 meters away. We looked at another in a funny way but we recognized another. As I walked towards her, she couldn’t help but to smile and walk a little faster to give me a welcoming hug. She always talked about how she loved long hugs but it wasn’t this time as I pushed her away in awkwardness with her brother standing there. Haha, I wasn’t going to hug her for so long with her brother standing next to us. As our hug subsided she asked me why I took so long. I didn’t answer her properly…you know kind of avoiding her question. She thought I wasn’t going to show and was like ‘ wtfff where is heeeee?’ Her brother introduced himself with a handshake and I responded back. He had a camera around his neck, nifty. He said his name and such but I couldn’t hear any of it due to my iPod playing music but I nodded like I understood. Tiffany told me he said his name. Oh how much of an idiot I was for not telling him my name as well. Maybe that’s why Tiffany was like ‘Oh that’s -insert my name-‘ while I stood there in amazement that I’m actually meeting Tiffany. Her brother eventually led the way to one of those things that tell you the location of places. He told us he would meet us back within 1-2 hours at the same place we met. We agreed and we walked off to do whatever in that time span. We basically sat down at the McDonalds, not the food court one and this was way before urban eatery, so the one upstairs. I ordered a hash brown because I didn’t get breakfast but I couldn’t eat it due to a canker sore on my lower lips. We sat at the table right in front of the middle cashier talking about many many things that I seem to forget right now but it wasn’t awkward at all. It was like how we talked over skype and when we IMed. After that we basically walked around the mall looking at things while talking about the many things we easily related to. It was around 1pm-2pm when she had to go. She made her way to Sears and exited the mall. I looked at her run down the street not knowing if I should chase after her knowing that we haven’t properly said good bye yet. I ran after her a bit and she said that her parents were across the street. I didn’t want to give her parents the wrong idea, let alone get her in trouble so I just yelled good bye to her waving happily knowing that this was reality, yet regretting my actions. I thought about chasing after her to give her a proper farewell not knowing when we’ll meet again but I didn’t do it. Like she would say, ‘Results, not excuses.’ After that day it soon brought something new.

Part 10 – Aftermath 

Ever since meeting up we got closer and closer. We webcammed more often and I already had her number to text her via AIM when she went out, I just did it more. At this time I was still dating Justine and all of that happened. I guess Tiffany took my mind from all that crap she gave me from her endless needs and wants and clingyness to the max. It was one of those things where perhaps I liked Tiffany, just maybe due to my current relationship not really being considered one. We barely talked, she nagged at me nonstop and a bunch of fighting during the last few months. And during those last few months Tiffany was there taking my mind off all of it with her entertaining personality. Anyways, you may say what you want with I did with Justine but she eventually broke it off with me and the impact wasn’t even that big because of Tiffany. Only after then did I realize I like her but I didn’t tell her. She was ideal; if you want the simple stuff…not a druggie, doesn’t drink, not flirtatious, vvh0re, and etc. We eventually got married on Maplestory when she got back from vacation, her bishop and my shadower; t**g***a and xAscendent. I soon got her to spit out that she likes me but I forget how. I’m really good at twisting people’s words around to favour my own situation. So I got her to confess to me, haha. I eventually told her I did too but we didn’t leave it like that. We knew we liked another but not exactly girlfriend/boyfriend garbage. It was that kind of relationship if you know what I meant. She eventually sent me mail which was pretty cool. I felt guilty making her spend $20 USD on me for that. Her package contained a bunch of tumblr drawings which were quite amusing that pertained to us, a bunch of stupid tour guides/pamphlet garbage from my city, a kitty mirror (its dam cute), a nifty writing utensil that has 4 pens and a pencil built into one thing, and a dog that has the words ‘I Love You’ on a bone that was around its collar. There are 2 dogs in that doll/plushie set. There were built in magnets on the bone that attached both dogs together. I knew she didn’t love me but it was the thought that counted so hold your horses. Anyways as you skip the months of talking and all that growing bonds and that kind of stuff I mentioned before, and that brings us to the nearing summer. Before that I just wanna say a few things about Tiffany. She was the cute type that never applied makeup, let alone how, yet her natural beauty did not escape me. Oh how stunning she was when she had her prom night with the makeup she put on for the first time. Haha, yeah I was jealous of her date which was a close friend of hers. She wasn’t tall or short, just perfect in my eyes. Did I forget to say we skype/cammed for hours and one time we reached like 13 hours? She’d ask me questions about everything thinking I had the answer lolol, I tried my best anyhow. Anyways, she told me she was going on a trip around Asia and that it’ll be hard for us to talk to another due to lack of internet access. I wasn’t too disheartened as something so trivial wouldn’t stop our relationship, not the bf/gf one. Engrave that. Although communication wasn’t an issue, something else was.

Part 11 – Issues 

It wasn’t all fun and games like you may think. We had some fights here and there but we over came them. No big. Like she would say, ‘ the fights we overcome only brought us closer together’, something along those lines. As her school year ended and summer came before our eyes, she departed California for Taiwan and Japan. She was going to be away for a month but that was okay. Although we were in different time zones we always sent another a long email about whatever we wanted to talk about and she included what she did on her vacation. I was happy that I could hear from her even though we were now more than 2150 miles away from another or something like that when she calculated the distance in Google maps. This continued for around 3-4 weeks but missing a few days during the whole duration. We webcammed when we had the chance to but it wasn’t often, still something. During her absence I heard the song ‘Jet Lag’ by Simple Plan over the radio. I liked it, instantly. I sent her an email with the youtube link and we eventually talked about it. If you heard about the song you’ll understand, if not here. I told her I would memorize it sometime soon and sing it to her. To this day I know the lyrics but I’ve never sung it to her… During those 3-4 weeks being the insecure type she was, she thought I stopped caring because of how I replied to her emails. I tried to fix this but it didn’t work out. She still didn’t believe me and always had doubt but what could I do? I honestly tried and the distance wasn’t helping either. We were still talking like normal though, but I guess it was just a bit different now. This reminds me of how she wrote in her journal for me from time to time. Although it has nothing to do with this Part, its still nice to tell you about it. She would write about the most randomest things you could imagine, like how her school day was or how her shoes were hurting or a bunch of tumblr jokes, you name it. She would date it and sign her name differently each time with the different nicknames she had. She would always take a photo of it and send it to my email so I could see it the next day. She even gave me the most creative nickname for me, first to ever hear that kind of nickname. Anyways that was all the good stuff. She was back around August and we finally talked normally again yet it suddenly went downhill from there. It was around mid August, 21st actually, that I got my license. I started to go out more often at night because I was able to drive my friends and I around. My time for Tiffany had lessened and I suppose she felt neglected and unwanted. Soon it boiled up inside of her and she told me over msn. I read it but I couldn’t respond because Teddy was over that day and I couldn’t let him read it. She basically felt she was not important to me anymore; I wasn’t her ideal person anymore with the personality traits she use to love. This made things even worse with her saying how I didn’t tell my friends. My friends were the type to make fun of you for such things so I didn’t bother with them; they have no real interest in females I guess. I tried to talk things out but it evidently didn’t work as my time for her had become less and less with Teddy coming back to my town and him wanting to catch up and all with everyone else. She emailed her words to me in times I wasn’t online or times that I told her I didn’t get it over msn as I accidently ESC’d in panic if Teddy were to see. I read every word, every word was taken into consideration, every word never left my mindset. I saw what I had been doing to her. I made my decision.

Part 12 – Decision 

The opportunity came and it was unavoidable, the decision. Things had gone rougher and rougher as the days passed. I purposely stopped logging onto AIM or even texting her hoping she would lose hope as I told her to go away numerous times. I think she thought I was kidding but I was serious. Finally she told me we could still work things out, I thought so too, or she’ll go away like I told her too. I told her that I wanted her to go away, I didn’t really but it was the only way I could stop her suffering on a long term scale. I told her cruel things that I probably shouldn’t have, you’re annoying, I never liked you, your tumblr was crap – it meant it a lot to her and etc. She told me everything I said was false, it was, but I had to keep my stance in order to let her go. I continued to deny her accusations but she eventually gave up. I had won something regretful. I let her go for the sake of herself. I had not kept my promise of not leaving her alone as she feared. Her fears manifested into reality but in good time I knew she would be better off. I had made myself the antagonist holding my pride high in order to accomplish my desire. I knew I was special to her. She had told me so many things she hadn’t told anyone. Her wall was broken down and she had let me in. Our December break plans were now in the past; we planned it so I would have been able to come over to California for a week or so. I knew I had done something horrible but it was too late to go back. Yes, I’ve realized what I had done and you may think of it as whatever but deep down, I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do yet, at the same time it was. The last words she told me was ‘ Okay, I’ll always be here but only as a FRIEND and nothing more’. I didn’t respond, I ESC’d it hoping her good future. I’m sorry Tiffany.

Chapter 4 – Grade 12

Part 13 – Her, again

It was around the end of August, just the week or so before the decision (lolol basketball anyone?) that I met her again. Teddy slept over that night and it was around 2am-3am when he joked to go to her house. I knew he was joking so I agreed but he wasn’t kidding around. I didn’t mind going because she had a lot of food all the time, that’s what I knew from grade 9. I agreed, for the food because I was starving that night. Her family was white washed always barbecuing everything, yum. I told my mom that I was going to go out and eat and she laughed it off lolol. I was, but you know just not a restaurant haha. I got dressed and we walked over to her house which took like 10 minutes at max. When we arrived she greeted us and we entered her kitchen, how nostalgic. I believed we play monopoly deal that night, she was real excited. We never played monopoly deal, well Teddy did but he forgot how, so she taught us. I talked mad crap to her and told her I would win, and I did. Beginners luck huh? There wasn’t an awkward atmosphere between her and I; we just had to break the ice. Being the rude mouth I was, I trashed her and we had one of those hate like friendships if you get what I mean. We ended up playing monopoly deal for awhile and eating a bunch of stuff that left her a lot of dishes to wash. That was how we first talked again in over 2 years. When we left her house around 4am-5am and went back to mine to call it a night. As Teddy slept on my floor with some blankets as covering we started to talk abouther. Previously the both of us had gone on a tour around some of the American states like NY, Boston, Washington and Philly. During one of those nights, I forget which place, we were talking about her. We were talking about our grade 12 prom as Teddy was moving back. He had a girl from his city he wanted to bring and we were talking about me and who I thought I would go with. There was no one in my mind, Tiffany was all the way in California; out of the question but oh how I wished if it were possible. Anyways, he started listing a bunch of girls and I gave my rational for each. He mentioned her and saying how it could be quite possible if I were to set her as my goal and make it happen. He gave me an anecdote. I didn’t give this much thought as at this point I liked Tiffany, but what he said could had been foreshadowing the future. He was sure this could be possible as he knew he was capable of bringing the three of us back together. And that’s how I talked to her again since the summer of grade 9.

Part 14- Rekindling – On Our Way

Various events occurred throughout the end of August and September that had rekindled our friendship. Who needs event order as I forget the many things that happened. During the last week of August I had convince her to sneak out of her house around 2am-3am to go to McDonalds with me. After much contemplation of pros and cons, she decided to go like the bad ass she thought she was. As I parked outside her house I could see a glimmering white light walking down her stairs. I knew it was her dumb flashlight she carried around everywhere. She stepped into my car panicking in fret as if she were to get caught. Her mom was a light sleeper. As I drove down 14th Avenue she wanted to go back. She was already complaining about her actions and how she will get caught therefore leading her to some nasty consequences. As she would say, ‘ I’m already treading in crap water I can’t do it!’ I told her to shut up and calm down; we didn’t go back after she finally calmed her nerves. The windshield of my car started to fog up but I thought this was inside and not outside. It started to build up and we drove in the dark with an unclear view. Oh the danger of this mission to McDonald’s. I did everything thinking it was fogging up inside, yes the heat was on and yadayada. She told me maybe it’s from the outside and I shot her idea down. How was that possible? I gave it a shot and to my surprise, it worked. We started to laugh like crazy as we thought it was inside the whole time. Well… the night was really foggy so I guess the water vapour built up huh? I was driving with a foggy view to Tim Horton’s seeing various cops on the sidewalk supervising the road construction at night. I ended up getting a fish fillet combo to satisfy my hunger and she got a snack size McFlurry. She fed me as I drove home. She was horrible at feeding people. She dropped the mayo in my fillet all over my shorts. Not only did she try to fix this by wiping it, she made it worse by spilling a bit of my drink. Klutz. She ended up going home without being caught, I knew she had enjoy the adrenaline in this mission as it was her first time sneaking out with a friend. Apparently her sister had asked her why are you still awake when she sneaked back home. Her sister had thought she was asleep because of she had made a fake body of herself in her bed sleeping. She got away with sneaking out. And then summer ended, after much monopoly deal at her house and other card games with her cousin, her, Teddy and I.

Shortly school started and we went to registration together. We found out we had a couple of classes together like Math, oh grade 10, and a bunch of the same lunches. She eventually transferred into my international trades class sitting a table group in front of me. She eventually sat at my table without the teachers consent but he didn’t care. Anyways, as I analyzed my surroundings the majority of the seniors who had saw us were going wtf in their head. These two again? After 2 years, wow, unexpected. We talked normally when I drove her to school as I had the same lunches as her (first period off, sleep in yay!). This year around my classes was all upstairs and my locker was downstairs. I needed an upstairs locker and I found out she had one. I asked her if we could share hers, she had no problem. Thank you for repaying that loan I lent you in grade 9. She gave me her top shelf as she couldn’t reach it lolol. I didn’t care what shelf as I tossed everything in hers if mine was too full from disorganized binder positions. I think she has OCD about this kinda stuff and I continued doing that with my carefree life. OCD…she also has one for MUST being on the left side of a person. Why? Well… she does everything on the left side apparently… hold hands…listen to music…and that was probably it lolol, everything huh? Anyways, sometimes we would have breakfast together as we had first period off. She came over to play basket ball sometimes, she sucked. She was quite the baller in grade 9, guess she lost it. Usually she would come over during the weekend around 4pm-5pm-ish I believe and this one time at like 9pm with her cousin. During this one game of basket ball she had issue with her friend, Nick.

Part 14.1- Nick 

She liked Nick and I knew it without her having to tell me. I didn’t know Nick in person but whenever Teddy and I came over late at night during the summer/weekends and played monopoly deal, she would be texting him. She had that kind of smile, it was a little too obvious. Nick also likes her. I had no interest in the both of them but during that game of basket ball, she revealed to me that Nick and her were ex-couples, however they still like another. She told me that one day he jumped the gun on her and implied something that led him to break up with her. She wanted my advice and I told her so. Her only problem was that she would not date anyone more than once as it was against her morals; why will it work the second time if the first did not? I gave her my advice which I forget what but she was so indecisive. I took the stance of go date him again, f your morals. If it provides you happiness, by all means you should go for it. She would then argue against me trying to prove me wrong. Okay, fine. I took the stance of do not date him again but I didn’t have no good reason as I didn’t know Nick and her relationship. She would then argue at me again but I forget what she said but it was a lot of gibberish and non sense she had spouted out at me. Eventually we concluded that she will call Nick and she will ask him what are they exactly doing? She explained how they should stop all of this over the phone and apparently he was crying over the phone and whatnot if memory serves me right. In the end nothing changed as he completely did not accept what she had said; and then she was back to where she started.

As time passed and it hit around mid September, she had finally gotten over Nick. She eventually revealed it was thanks to me due to my carefree spirit you may call it. She convinced herself that this wasn’t benefiting her and their situation will resolve nothing. She kept telling me she will tell him in person and end whatever they had together. I told her no she would not as she was just talk, no actions. She proved me wrong. After much procrastination she had proven me wrong. I had to get a haircut one day near Nick’s house and I offered her ride to his house to resolve her problem as her resolve did not waver anymore (lolol @ the 2 resolve meanings). I would get my hair cut and by the time I was done, she would have to wrap things up with him. I dropped her off and it began. As I came to pick her up after my hair cut, I called her to come out or was it my friend that was also there. Anyways, as she came out the door was slammed on her and my friend and I went wtf? We asked her what she had done to him and she explained. According to her it wasn’t that bad and he ‘understands’ or what not. He was clearly not okay, common; he slammed the door on you. Anyways, her situation with Nick got kind of awkward and what not. According to her, he was colder to her and their talking got different. Ehh. They still talk and all to this day I think, but don’t take my word for it.

Part 15 – Again

It was a Saturday night, that started it again. At this time I had been talking a lot of crap to her in a mean but friendly way, always proving her wrong when she provoked me. We were at the Tim Hortons on Highway 7 getting her a steep tea double double and a hot chocolate for me; the air was getting cold around October. We placed our drinks in the cup holders, then proceeding into talking about something that was nothing. We were one of those people that were capable of talking about anything instead of sitting there in silence unless we opted to. I forget what I had said but it had led me to say ‘What if I kissed you on the lips?’ in context to what we were talking about. She didn’t think I had the guts to do it. I did. I leaned in from my seat to her face and kissed her lips but only after much friendly no you wouldn’t, and yes I woulds. She didn’t move away when I leaned closer. She didn’t move away when I kissed her. She accepted it. Her face was one of amazement, the surprised amazement of course. I had proven her wrong. She had asked me why I had done it but really I didn’t have a clue. I thought for a moment and the best answer I could supply was ‘I don’t know’. I did know, just maybe; it was to see if I had liked her. I did not. It seems like she did not mind as it was one of those things that she believed happened only once and that we were really close friends now adding onto our past. We moved locations for two reasons after our little talk of what just happened. 1) We were right in front of the Tim Horton’s in my car and 2) Her mom had just called to see where she was and when she’d be home. I drove to the nearby plaza and we continued to talk on the same topic. It eventually led us to be a bit more intimate than before at Tim Horton’s and thus it. Her mom called as it was approaching 12am on a Saturday night. Her mom is always like this, don’t worry. Always bitter to anyone who tries to get close to her daughter lolol. I drove her home without any awkwardness or anything you may think there would be. It was normal, just like in grade 9. I proved her wrong once more, but telling her that I would never like her ever again; it wasn’t a onetime thing.

It happened again a week later approximately. My memory is a bit fuzzy right now not remembering how it exactly came to be but we were at a red light awaiting the dam left turn signal that only occurs like never. We were returning from my restaurant most likely to go home. The light was taking an eternity which I had brought up the topic of ithappening again. She denied it, but it was in a way in which she expected it yet not wanting it. I had enough time to sneak one on her before the light flashed a left turn signal only. I read the atmosphere after while driving, it was different. She was not talking much now but I could see through my peripheral vision that she was thinking. Thinking of what just happened most likely and reason. I asked her if she was thinking of why I did it again and she questioned if it was just to ‘prove’ her wrong. I responded with ‘Aren’t you the curious one?’ which resulted in her being a little embarrassed and a little stubborn (because I had read her). She stopped talking for awhile continuing with her attitude. I tried talking to her but she gazed out the window. I can’t write much here considering how I was driving but I was a little worry how she got quiet. It wasn’t like her. She finally spoke, “I guess we are back to where we started.” I guess we were. We were back to grade 9, or should I say starting where we left off in grade 9. Did I like her at this time? Just a bit, maybe, but I didn’t feel the exact same feelings for her as I once did. Things have returned to how they once were, not really.

It was around next week on a Friday night, perhaps a Saturday night that we left our houses at 1am-2am. Previously we had been planning to eradicate one of our ex’s items, in my case my vandalized agenda. It needed to disappear. I forget what she had but it was something her ex made; unimportant, my agenda is the embodiment of all evil. Oh the shivers I get when I think of the hell my agenda went through. She sneaked out once more but in a calmer manner. I had been standing outside her house like an idiot wandering around her street not trying to look suspicious in my dark outerwear that labels me as a thief. I texted her to come out. Again I saw her dumb flashlight’s light going down the stairs. It had taken her forever to try to be sneaky. She exited her house in outdoor wear for the night that would keep her warm. My heart was finally at ease to see her; the ease of not lurking around her house in the dark night. She came out with the stuff we would bury at the nearby park. We proceeded to walk down the path that led to the park holding hands that was illuminated by the various lamp posts. We arrived at the park; it was a small one with only one slide, a swing and a stupid thing you sit on to move around. We decided to dig a hole big enough to cover both our objects under the slide, a perfect place to remember where we had buried it. She flashed open her flashlights, and passed both of them to me. She proceeded to dig with her garden shovel she had taken from home. I shined the flashlight at the spot where we would dig the hole at. We switched every now and then. She kept asking me if this was illegal, I didn’t know. The sand pit wasn’t all that deep; we hit the cement pretty darn quickly which had saddened her. It wasn’t a big hole nor was it too small, just big enough for the size of my agenda and the small object she had. We placed our things in the hole and placed all the sand back into its rightful place. The past is now the past. We had just created the time capsule type thing we wanted to. We would come back after graduation or so and look for our buried treasures. It was a plan. After all of this digging we dusted off all the dirt and proceeded to sit on the platform in which the slide was connected to. She sat there lying on my chest while my arms were wrapped around her. We sat there gazing into the night sky; periodically looking at the stars and just talking or giving another a kiss. It was getting cold but our cuddling had sustained us a good amount of warmth from the incoming winter. It was around 4am-5am now and we debated if we should spend the night here or not. After talking about it for a bit we dropped it but eventually we decided that our fatigue had the better of us. I walked her home giving her a good night hug and kiss before she entered her welcoming home. I walked home only to realize I wasn’t tired anymore. She wasn’t either according to her text. We spent the night texting another until we got tired. We called it a night.

Part 16 – One More Time 

A week has passed and our relationship has basically become what I had described in grade 9. Wonderful. I enjoyed every moment only to realize I had liked her again. I told her I would not like her again, never, but I did. There was something about her I didn’t know that drew me back in. I told Teddy I would never like the same girl twice, I was wrong. She was special if she was capable of doing this to me. I like her. I didn’t tell her but I’m sure everyone in our school knew. It was exactly like grade 9. She enjoyed it too although she actually said it. I could tell. I could tell just by reading her emotions, she was easy to read, well at least to me. I haven’t known her as long a I did in grade 9, but nothing has changed between us. Her personality hasn’t changed one bit, but I can’t exactly same for myself. She would always say ‘ YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME?’ when I read her and said it out loud. I told her I didn’t know her and I did not want to without telling her the reasons to why. She wanted to know. Here you go. I don’t want to know you as well as you think I would in fear that I would grow tired of you. I want that unpredictability of you to stay. Anyways, it was around a week of these simple activities that mirrored grade 9 before it changed, again. I asked her if she would get bored of all of this like she did in grade 9. She said it was quite possible. I didn’t want history to repeat itself, not on my watch. I changed history.

It was within a week where I found myself at her house doing homework with her. We had gotten off task and started talking about us. I forget what she said but she had indirectly told me that she liked me. I hadn’t provoked her this time, she accidentally spilled it herself while answering my questions pertaining to us. I said ‘So you like me then?’ She fidgeted and tried to change the topic knowing that I was right. She tried to get back at me by saying ‘So I can say you like me as well then…” I didn’t answer back, I did, but I changed the topic back to her liking me to justify my arguement. She gave up knowing I was right. I had interrogated her to the point where she had given hope of concealing her secret. She whined “That’s unfaiiiiir… you’re an unfair bear”. I told her she can just confess to me now like how them girls in Japanese Animes. We had a debate about this and how the guy can do it too. I had won, I got her to confess to me on the condition that I would tell her my feelings as well. She likes me. I changed the topic, away from all this liking stuff just to see her reaction. I got what I wanted, her reaction. She had called me unfair for doing what I did, I know I was but I didn’t care. I eventually told her after creating suspense in the atmosphere. I planned that I would tell her in the end but only after having some fun. I had my fun and I told her my feelings as well. I told her I liked her too. What of it now? She had complained after her ‘That’s unfaiiiiiir, you’re an unfair bear’ line that is it a bad thing to like me again. She didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing to like me. I suppose she was really confused thinking that she shouldn’t like me again because we are such close friends, once more. She didn’t want whatever we had currently to disappear, she treasured it and so did I. I understood if she didn’t want to go out because of this, again, but history didn’t repeat itself. She realized that she too wanted to change history and did not want it to repeat itself. She gave us a chance after I told her my feelings, boy was she nervous of going first because what I had told her in the beginning, “I’ll never like you again.” Cute. She as well didn’t want grade 9 to repeat itself, her insight had told her that we could had become something more, something better, something amazing. We didn’t go out, not just yet. I didn’t want to ask her out in this atmosphere and time. I wanted it to be something better than this. I told her I would ask her out sometime soon. She agreed. Did she wait eagerly for that day? I don’t know but I hope you tell me after reading this.

Part 17 – October 21st, 2011

It was during the week of October 21st that I asked her out. It was a week full of spirit in our school because it was filled with daily events during 3rd and 4th lunch for Octoberfest. I told her all my plans of how I would ask her out with non intention of doing so for any of them, but she took some of them seriously and liked it. She said I ruined everything by spoiling it and maybe I did haha. I didn’t have a real way of asking her out, I was going to go with the moment but I stuck to one idea that I teased her about. I told her during the Octoberfest event where every club sold whatever they wanted to, cupcakes, drinks, ice cream(this wasn’t on October 21st), I would stand on top of one of the tables and pronounce my love for her. I would shout out to the whole entire cafe where almost everyone will be and expect an answer out of her with everyone staring at her. Well not love, but like. She had this thing where her ex’s told her that they loved her within a month or so. She couldn’t possibly accept that and that’s why I said I would pronounce my love for her. Octoberfest came and I was advertising for my club by shouting to the whole cafe to buy these overpriced ice cream sandwhiches. While I was at it, I always told her I’ma about to scream my love for her which resulted in a cute reaction of her pleading me not to. She laughed and all but I knew she truly didn’t want the attention and she told me so too after. The both of us sat at our club table watching the spirited students run around buying treats and our fellow club members full of spirit. As the event ended, I ultimately didn’t do what I teased her about and was she forever grateful LOL. Everything just went down hill from there with our dang math test on such a spirited day. We both bombed it with the excitement of the day within us not making the transition back to math. The both of us complained to another about the math test, but tomorrow was October 21st and that was the day how I unexpectantly asked her out.

It was October 21st and I came to pick her up from her house like any other day to get to school. It was the typical morning; she would be late because she had fell asleep on her bed after her shower therefore leading her to rushing downstairs panicking about time. I left my house relatively late so I can get to school just on time but with her tardiness, I started to become late for every morning class. Anyways, it was the usual morning and we arrived at school around 10 minutes late like always. It didn’t matter to her because she had lunch again meanwhile I had accounting. Good thing my teacher doesn’t care if I’m late or not! I saw her after my accounting class and she looked terrible. She told me she was aching from so much pain from her period. She had taken prescribed period pain killers from her friend and it didn’t help at all. She was dying on the inside and I felt so bad because it was impossible to help her rid of the pain. She told me she might go home if she couldn’t take the pain because she had a ride from a friend. And, she eventually did. I didn’t see her for the last two periods which made me feel kinda weird as I always saw her during those classes. It felt different without her. The day felt different without her. Although I never talk to her in math or not as much as I do in the class before, I still missed her presence. Her presence was enough to change a lot of things, and it is important to me. The school day ended and I decided to drive to her house after school and see how she was doing. I called her when I was outside her house and to my surprise; she was still on her bed curled up in a ball sucking up her pain. She wouldn’t come downstairs and she just gave me her garage code which I tend to forget. I let myself into her nostalgic home and made my way to her room. Her room is painted a light green and it was filled with furniture. Her computer table in the corner, the bookshelf opposite to it, and her bed in the middle and in front of that bed is her little drawers filled with her accessories for her daily outfits. I sat on her bed and asked how she was doing while stroking her hair. She let out a cry for help, whining I would say, about her pain and agony. I couldn�t help but chuckle at her reactions, golden. I proceeded to lay down with her, cuddling her to help her forget the pain. And surprisingly, it worked. After a bit, I proceeded to ask her out while cuddling her but of course I made her turn around to face me. I looked her in the eye and asked her if she would be my girlfriend. Just a bit of surprise there, just a bit, because of the time and atmosphere. She did her little act of thinking about it just to get at me, but with confidence she said yes. She asked me if this was the really ideal way she would wanted to be asked out. I told her no, but it didn�t hurt anyone. It wasn�t too bad was it? I drove to her house to see how she was doing after not seeing her for the last 3 periods of class. She told me she was in too much pain to answer the door so I let myself into her house only to find her curled up in a ball. I comforted her and asked her. Not too bad. We talked about us. We would keep it a secret for the time being. I didn�t mind, secret or not it wasn�t a big deal, we liked another and that was that until herfriend found out accidently.

Part 18 � Party

The second last week of October arrived and that Friday was the party date. Her had a party to attend to that was from another school. She had a friend, Lisa, that was also invited from our school. Her friend was contemplating whether to go or not that Friday. I didn’t really care if they went or not, as long as she didn’t knocker herself out crazy and do something stupid. It was one of those drinking parties, self explanatory xD. Anyways, as our day at school concluded, her couldn’t convince Lisa to come. Lisa asked for my opinion and I told her she should just go and have some fun for once. Even I knew she doesn’t do activities like these often enough and I barely talk to her. Lisa finally decided on a no because: who would be their designated driver, how would she get home and what if something happens to her? All of these question boggled her mind and I bluntly told her and Lisa at our locker that I’d be their DD and watch over them if that would finally convince Lisa to go. (it was for the her‘s happiness) They didn’t believe me. It was out of my character to say something like that…but I did mean it. My little comment was instantly sold. Lisa would go along with her. The party was going to start around 7ish and we made our arrangements. I would be picking up her and Lisa, then driving to her friend’s house where they would get all dressed in their Halloween costume. Lisa finding out about our little secret was the least of our problems that night.

We arrived at the condominium that was rented out for the party. I knew this area. Nostalgic. Coming back here, where I once spent my childhood days, really brought back some memories. Anyways, I asked the guy inside the building where I could park and I drove all the way into the lower level where we eventually saw some others dressed up in costumes as well. We were clueless of where to go from the underground level, but thankfully these costumed people led us the way. We arrived and paid our fare to get into party room, it was spacious. Parties were parties and you could guess what went on: talking, drinking, drinking games (beer pong, flip cup), and you name it. Lisa wasn’t much of a drinker, just the occasional family dinner kind of things according to her. I provoked her to getting more shots by taunting her and to my amusement it worked. She was a little softie so it just made it better. She eventually became drunk from all those shots she took. I don’t recall how many because I lost count after I left her presence. I didn’t drink though. It was fun enough to watch Lisa and the others have fun. On the hand, her managed to control herself like she promised me. She didn’t get drunk or nothing but tipsy I suppose. For some reason she went to the washroom with her friend which worried me. I didn’t know why but I assumed she had barfed. It seems like she was barfed on or something and she just had to clean off. When she came back she told me she had to put her pirate hat back into the car because it kept falling off on her. She could of just carried it but nooo… it must go to the car. We both took off to go back to the parking grounds, except there was a problem. We got lost in this maze trying to find the parking level. We saw a couple of people from the condominium who lived there but we never asked for directions. She was still tipsy at this point. All the doors you exited from locked themselves which created a big problem trying to find our way back into the room we came from. To our luck, we saw some guy exit a door and I dashed to hold it open so her and I could go back. There was another door and it was also the type that was locked on the other side. I told her to stay put in case I get locked exploring our way back to the room. She said in the cutest way ” Okayyyy but if you go you won’t know if i get haped or if someone kidnappps meeeeee.” She had no idea what she was talking about, honestly LOL. I assured her she wouldn’t and that I’ll be back as fast as I can. I came back as fast as I said I would and led her the way back to the room. We expectantly stopped at a stairwell and that’s where we embraced. She started to ramble on again. “Are you a bad guyyyyyy? Cause if you are a bad guyy I can’t date bad guysss. I don’t like themm.” ” You know I realllllly likeeeee youu.” She was all warm around her cheeks and neck. Her face was red, the warm fuzzy red. Perhaps she should get a little tipsy more often so I can hear these things she shouldn’t really say if she were herself. Anyways, we found our way back without going back to my car, only to find some girls walking into the boys washroom after we both decided we needed to go.

It started to become a mess. People were going into the wrong restrooms, people exiting were making enough noise to disturb the occupants and there were just too many people in the halls for no apparent reason. This violated the rights for renting out the room at the condominium. To our surprise, the security guard came to give us a warning until he saw it. He saw a girl come out of the girls washroom, wobbling in the halls, and eventually slamming her head onto the closest wall. This ended everything. He told us he would end the party, now. It was only around 10ish~ and the host had the room until 11~. He kicked everyone out but people remained and mingled. He said he would call the cops if he had to and eventually he did. He only did this because of the first incident with the girl passing out and when he exited the room to see a girl being dragged into the girls washroom as she was too drunk to know any better. The girl who was dragged to the washroom was the friend of her‘s friend. A friend’s friend basically. I went to go get my car asap and the people who I drove, her, Lisa and her‘s friend, would meet me at the entrance. I waited at the entrance for awhile all worried knowing I was in a no parking zone. I shut my car off and asked the secretary if there was a guest parking area. She happily told me and I thanked her. As I exited to go back to my car parked in a no parking zone (I was parked right outside the entrance), I saw a cop pulling up at the far entrance to the condominium. I hurried into my car, started it up and drove away to the guest parking. I just almost got fined, again (got fined before lolol). There was another guy parked there and I’m sure he got fined, lucky me. Anyways I waited in the car, taking my makeup off that her had done for me, little artistic her haha, so that I could ask the security guard where my friends were. It was some next level thing. It looked like I had an eye open when I closed it because she painted an eye on my eyelids. A very scary kind in fact. She drew all these designs to enhance this dark look. Anyways, her didn’t pick up her phone which made me do this. It got me worried,not to mention the fact that cop cars were pulling in. I walked back to the entrance and saw the security guard. I asked him where my friends were and he told me they were talking to the cops.

Part 19 – Trouble?

Its a bit on the short side, got sidetracked with my life and I wrote this real quick.

I sat in the lobby at the condominium waiting for her to come and reveal the situation to me, and she did. She walked out and told me that she needed my license in a frantic way. She was glad to see me, I could tell by her expression of relief. Its as if my presence had turned her stress from handling the situation into relief. The cops needed to see my license in order to know the designated driver. I walked to my car and picked up my wallet and proceeded to walk into the room where the drunks and other partyers were held at. He inspected my license and questioned that it was only a G2. Hell, its still valid to drive people before 12am. He asked me if I drank and I told him I did not. He was suspicious and asked me if I could take the breathalyser test. I agreed I would if I had to but he seemed to have believed me after I said it with such confidence. He let us go. We walked away from the situation with a couple of people still being held, being questioned about the events. Her wasn’t drunk, she was tipsy I suppose. She calmed down and could talk and walk properly at this point, she still was during the cop interrogation, and she took the initiative to fix up our friends before driving them home. We went to the burger king in front of the condominium only to see a bunch of other partiers that dipped before the cops could get em. We settled for some food and eventually everyone became well aware of what they were doing, so I drove them home. While her and I were alone during the drive home, she thanked me like she never did before. She expressed her gratitude for saving her and her buddies. There was no other day that I recall she was so happy to see me during that split moment.

Part 20 – Christmas is Approaching

Well the month of November quickly passed and I don’t recall anything important that happened. As November ended with the Christmas spirit intact, the month of December told me it would be grand. Lights were being set up illuminating the night sky as dusk approached. The winter air gave chills to my skin and irritated my sensitive nose. I hate snow. She loved the snow. Tis her favourite season of all. Every year the winter would bring upon heaps of snow, making everyone shovel their driveways night after night. You could see big snow balls on the school fields, footprints in the snow, your own breath and if you looked closely, an idiot’s tongue on a street pole. Not her though. . This year it didn’t snow as much as the previous ones, thank goodness. I promised her I would walk with her during the night of the first big snowfall. She was full of Christmas spirit. It went from socks to head wear to carols. Just looking at her festive spirit during this time made me happy enough. December quickly passed which brought forth the nearing of our break. Every year our school would have a holidays assembly before the actual break and the highlight was the teacher’s dance. This also meant Christmas was actually really close now. I was stuck. I didn’t know what to get her. I thought about it and when the day of the holiday assembly approached, I had a plan.

I woke up early that day as I planned to go to Scarborough town centre with my friend Joey because she also needed to find a gift (for her secret santa). I met her at school and we drove down to Scarborough Town Centre in hopes of finding something for her and RP points for Joey’s secret santa. We spent a while looking around and trying to figure if she would like it or not. We only had 3 periods before the assembly started and without any luck, I couldn’t find anything that she liked. However, the day before Joey and I did go out to find something as well. I bought her some type of lotion or body wash thing that relieves your stress. She has been really stressed out lately and exams were coming soon, it was a good find. Anyways that day we didn’t find much. Just the stress reliever thing and other miscellaneous items ( a xmas cat bag and some xmas socks) . I needed 1 more thing to finish it off the gift and that’s why I went to Scarborough Town Centre. Without finding anything at STC, we went to the nearby Best Buy in hopes that they had RP points. They were sold out. Joey was screwed. She was also the other day. Every store was sold out. She ended up getting a McDonalds gift card or something.

Without finding anything at STC we drove back to school. On the way back we decided to give it one last shot and go to Pacific Mall. It was rowdy for a school day. It was filled with elderly people talking to their friends at the food court while eating or drinking something. After much wandering and such, I debated on a pair of slippers. It was the ultimate decision, dolphin or dog or pandas? Joey even called her to ask about her favourite animal. I told her not to but she couldn’t take it anymore and was so bait about it all. I ended up getting the dog like ones although she was a cat person sadly. The time was nearing the assembly and I quickly drove off. During the ride Joey did the finishing touches because I was driving. We arrived at school and placed the present in the trunk of my car so she wouldn’t notice. Mission completed. She didn’t notice. I bought her a steeped tea double double and placed it in her locker to cool down (she liked it cold). I eventually met her at the assembly although the atmosphere between us wasn’t great.

During the assembly we barely talked to another, even though we sat beside each other. It was kind of awkward but not really at the same time. The atmosphere was very tense..? if thats the word I may use. Anyway, we eventually talked it out before Christmas itself and it all worked out. I am forgetting the rest but its not important until Christmas itself. Can’t blame myself for forgetting what I wanted to write a few months ago haha.

Part 20 – Christmas and a little bit 

Forgive me for my horrible memory here but its been awhile and I’ll try to write what I remember.

I had to ask her to aid my memory on this one because I confused New Years and Xmas. According to her we didn’t do much and I don’t exactly remember why. She basically came over during the day and gave my family some chocolates and wine, and the gift she had bought for me. Her sister came over too at one point to give a box of chocolate while Her and her sister were on the way to somewhere. I was just gaming that day really, playing League of Legends trying to boost up that elo. You know, its Xmas, maybe I’ll catch a break from the solo queue trolls and get some luck. *I didn’t if you are wondering and you can add me if you want, PM me* I recall opening the door wearing my boxers and a scrapped up t-shirt. I was a little embarrassed and surprised to see Her’s sister at the door instead of Her. If you were all wondering, many of Her’s friends that have seen her sister has called her hot. Anyways, it wasn’t a white Xmas. In fact it didn’t even snow that much this year during the winter. Surprisingly it snowed a couple of times during the spring and summer – April and May maybe? I eventually gave her my gift but I don’t recall how really. Nothing really happened and I don’t recall much but the more exciting comes a day after Boxing Day.

Part 21 – And a Little Bit 

Yeah, Xmas wasn’t as exciting as I recalled it to be but hey, here comes the more exciting part.

It was 2 days after Christmas and the snow has finally fallen. It was a late snowfall but it covered the landscape with its white purity. During the day it had slowly fallen, adding to the immense snowfall from the night before. You could see the snow falling onto windows where it just melted, becoming a little stream of water. If you even looked closely enough you could see streams of water from the melted snow racing down. Anyways, we began our adventure when nightfall finally came. We agreed to meet at the nearby intersection, the street lights as we called it, and from there on we would walk in the winter wonderland. I got dressed and everything and left my house to meet her at the street lights. It was really cold, I remember. I was wearing sneakers, a hat and a jacket that wasn’t really a winter jacket nor was it a spring jacket. Just as I arrived to the street light, she had too. We arrived at our meeting place at the same time. She was diagonally across the street from me. She waited for the light to turn green before she proceeded to walk to where I was standing. By this time, the snowfall had stopped and it was just the piercing wind causing the weather to be so cold. When she arrived I immediately hugged her and proceeded to give her a kiss on the lips. It was warm. She was warm. She was well dressed for tonight and I knew because I felt the difference in our body temperature. Her warmth rushed into my hands and my icy cold hands became warm like hers. We walked towards my street to go to the park near the elementary school down my street. The Xmas atmosphere was even better than the actual Xmas with the snow and all. The Xmas lights were still up and shining even brighter than usual in the dark night sky, thanks to the immense snowfall from last night. You could see the decorations such as reefs and reindeer/santa blow up dolls too. It was one of the better Xmas atmospheres since a long time. As we arrived to the elementary school, she had a sudden urge to just dance in the snow. The snow wasn’t deep or anything but I had sneakers so that was a little problematic on my part. Nonetheless, I hesitantly agreed and she pulled me onto the field covered in snow.

It was a wonderful experience and it was fun. She pulled me into the snow and spun around a few times with me holding onto her like how a prince would dance with his princess. We had our own ways of dancing. Like the fairy tales, just holding onto another and just moving back and forth or even simply just making fools out of ourselves. During our little slow dance under the gleaming moonlight and starry stars, she put one of her headphones into my ears. To my surprise, it was Xmas music. It was really festive and made the atmosphere even better than it already was. By this time my shoes were starting to get wet and I felt the snow slowly soaking into my shoes. She noticed I didn’t have boots and told me how silly I was, displaying her concern as well over her comedic act. By that I meant she wanted to piggy back me across the field to the nearby station that had a rooftop and some benches underneath. I laughed and told her she could try. She accepted the challenge and once I jumped onto her back, she tried her very best to cover as much distance as possible. It was really fun to see her determination and how committed she was although she knew she could not do it. I love that about her. As soon as she covered…perhaps 1/4th of the distance required to our destination, I hopped off her back and had a good laugh. She gave me her embarrassed little taunt and that hard to get attitude. Ultimately we laughed it off as we arrived to the station/resting area with the roof. She was a little mad again, mainly because I scared the heck out of her. I ran away into the darkness hiding behind the trees where my figure blended nicely into the darkness. I vividly recall her saying ” Come out… (my name)..” , ” This isn’t funnyyy  ” and ” (my name) !”. I did as she said and scared her in the process, and thats how she got a little mad.

We sat at the resting area for awhile listening to her iPod filled with Xmas music while gazing into the night sky filled with stars and the snowfall that had just begun while I tried to air dry my socks. It was a wonderful sight, it really was. It was calming, relaxing and basically tranquillity. My heart was at ease and I was free of worries (such as the January exams) from just her being with me on a wonderful night such as this. She wanted to dance all of a sudden. I asked her what kind of dance would she like to do, but she did not know. I asked her if she knew how to waltz. She excitedly said ‘no’ with hopes of me teaching her. I wasn’t a great waltzer, but I remember a few steps and moves I learned in my grade 6 dance class. Also, from looking up a few videos in the past in preparation for an event like this. She was really clumsy and it took her a while to get a hang of it. I just began with the formal steps and told her to copy. She messed up but I wouldn’t blame her because its hard trying to copy me but doing the opposite foot movements. (If my right foot goes forward, yours would go backwards) Once she got the hang of it, I bumped it up a notch. It was no longer just dancing on one spot, but moving, covering different surface areas of the ground. We laughed and chuckled; whether it was at mistakes or just from pure enjoyment. It was like we were the remaining humans of this Earth, just slow dancing away in the Xmas atmosphere even though it wasn’t Christmas. The lights from the house directly infront of us sure said that as well with its bright Xmas lights and snow padded grass. It was starting to get late and cold, maybe it was 3 am, and we decided that we should leave. I told her I’d walk her home but I took the long way just for her so we could spend a little more time with another. She walked on the street curbs, placing 1 foot infront of another like a little child she was while I held her hand on the street. Her hand was extended and was parallel to the ground while I held it, helping her maintain the balance she needed. We saw many more Xmas like features before we ended up at her house. We kissed another goodbye and waved to another as I walked away into the darkness and as for her, into her house. I wish that was my Xmas but nonetheless, another adventure came as New Years approached.

Part 22 – New Years 

Well its New Years and her and I had no plans for that night, it was more spontaneous than planned. When night started to come, we started to brainstorm about ideas of what to do. Naturally we would do something and we did even though it may not be much. I drove to McDonald’s with her, the one on 7 and McCowan. I remember getting a bunch of nuggets and fries and just devouring it in front of her. She got her own thing and I vividly remember her ordering mayo for her fries. She always did that. I even have a photo of her eating the fries with mayo at this other time we went to McDonalds for lunch. It was like her trade mark thing to do when she got fries. Anyways, after eating and all that we were really stuck on what to do but her cousin eventually wanted a ride to her friend’s party. I agreed mainly because that triggered her’s memory of how her friend from another school was having a party somewhere near the area of the place her cousin wanted to go to. We were just going to drop by the party for a little bit so she can say hi and all that jazz to her old buddies.

When we arrived to the party, I awkwardly sat down not knowing anyone there. I had no intentions of wanting to know them or talk to them. I didn’t like it. To be precise, I just didn’t like the community they came from, which accurately labelled the people there. She said her hi’s and how are yous and stuff and we would eventually leave. Her’s bestfriend was also there and that was mainly why she went. Her best friend, Julia, was having problems with her boyfriend and the three of us eventually left the house. Julia’s boyfriend lived in the vicinity and she went to go meet him. While she did that her and I went to the local park and sat down on the benches. It was a cold calm night. The air was really nice with no winds at all. You could smell nature: the grass, the snow and the trees. The birds were chirping at this time now too, it was probably around 2am-3am? The cold pierced through my clothing, making me rather more cold than I should of been. I’m very prone to cold weather, winter sucks. Back to the point. The bench we sat at was half wet from the snow. I sat on the dry part of it and told her to sit on my lap, and she did. She put her arms around me cuddling me up while sitting on me. It was warm. I could feel the warmth of her body warming my cold skin. She was always set for the occasion. Hat, gloves, jacket, you name it. On the other hand, I wasn’t. I never really dressed to the weather. We talked for a long time. We talked about our past, reminiscing the good times we had back in grade 9, the current, and our future. We told each other jokes, made fun of another and stared into the night sky where the moon shined really bright. No stars were seen that night because the clouds had blocked them. The scenery from the bench was great. In the far distance you could see a blackish, grayish shadow formed by the trees because of the night and on the right you could see the baseball diamond’s fence towering above us. Behind us was a few trees with snow on its branches and leaves. They would occasionally fall and we would turn around wondering what the heck of been. We sat there in silence too, knowing that the happiness from within cannot be expressed in words.

Soon Julia came back with her boyfriend and located us at the park. They talked things out and the four of us walked back to the house. Julia and her boyfriend resumed partying I suppose and her and I left because I was violently coughing. It was weird, it all started when I entered the house for the first time. It was like I got cursed or something because after that night, I started to violently cough for a loooooooong time, maybe up until May. It wasn’t from sickness, it was just because. I even got cough medicine from the doctor and such. Anyways, we left the house and I drove her back home knowing that I had made her one happy gal.

Part 23 – Valentine’s Day 

Valentine’s day was coming up and I always thought it’d be cool to have one of those cheesy things that occur like in anime or dramas or like tv shows. Sadly, I would not be in town for Valentine’s day to spend with her. I had a field trip that weekend to attend the Deca regional’s at down town Toronto at the Sheraton Hotel. I was going to be staying for 2 days and the last day just so happened to be Valentine’s day. I was kind of sad… just knowing I won’t be there to spend a day like this with her and doing the cheesyest things ever. I’m pretty sure she was looking forward to it too.

I had fun at the Deca event, rooming with my friends and experiencing something different for once. I won’t go into detail about the event because its business related and all. On the first night, the roommate who I was sharing the bed with (it was 4 to a room with 2 beds), and I decided to have some fun and use the room’s phone to call other phones. He was just calling every room number that our school had booked for the event and just annoying everyone to the point that they disconnected their phones. At this point he decided to use my phone and call my contact list, and one of them just happened to be her. He was trolling her real hard, making her jealous and everything by saying that he would be sleeping with me tonight and just displaying the bromance. I found her jealousy really cute even though you may think it was kind of lame, but it was a refreshing emotion to see from her.

Anyways, on the last day it was Valentine’s day. I saw a bunch of the students in the lobby with flowers, particularly roses. I didn’t know where these people got it and I looked around the whole building and even the areas around too. *I’m too shy of a guy to ask someone for stuff like this*. I was kind of disappointed that I couldn’t get her flowers for her tonight but I thought it’d be okay since I was going home today with the schools’ buses. I was wrong. By the time I reached home it was past 9 and it was dark. Everything that would of sold flowers was now closed and I just couldn’t get her anything. I had free time during the two days to go shopping in down town, but it was kind of embarrassing to this infront of the whole group of Deca guy’s I came down with. I also didn’t bring enough money  Who knew dinner and lunches at down town would be so damn expensive. I got home safely and I told her I was finally back. Boy was she excited! She asked me if she could come over and I told her it was possible if she really wanted to (she only lived like a 5min walk away from me). She immediately came over and rang the doorbell. I was surprised. She brought over some heart shape candy’s with words on it (you know those typical valentine day candies?) and a heart chocolate cookie kit where you can decorate it with your own icing and other candy counter parts. I guess I did get my little cheesy event for Valentine’s day. It was pretty cool. We took these to my room and she took her heart candies and made a message for me. Although I forget to this day, it was very heart warming. I told her about my Deca event and how I spent my days without her while she was over for the hour. It was getting late and I told her we’d do the heart shape cookies another day (we ended up doing it like 5 months later LOL), because she had to be home by 10 pm. We embraced another before I drove her home, thanking her for the wonderful surprise and kissing her before she left my car to enter her home.

– Super time skip –

Part 24 – Prom 

Part 25 – After Prom 

Part 26 – Graduation

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